Thread: Just Wondering...

I was thinking about where I work just now (in a prison as an Education Coordinator) and a quote I read, from a prison newspaper from San Quentin which said (along the lines of) ‘Working in a prison is working where paranoia is treated as normal and basic trust as unwise’.

I was thinking, after 15 years of doing this, if my basic instincts have been sullied and I've become distrustful of all. I was wondering if, and if so how much, outside influences influence the sort of people we are.

I used to be in the army, and for two years was a Recruit Instructor. I remember that for that time I was a bit of a psycho; and ended up not distinguishing between work and home; I used to give my kids (3 and six) room inspections; having them stand by the end of their beds while I ensured teddy was sitting up straight and barbie was suitably attired…

I think I’m being shaped by my jobs; and I’m not sure I like it. I should have taken my brother’s advice (when I was 16) and become a professional surfer. Forget the fact I had trouble standing up on the board (due to poor eyesight) it’s probably still a more favorable option…

Just wondering…

Well at least there aren't any sharks in the average prison.

Originally Posted by ace

Well at least there aren't any sharks in the average prison.

Are you mentioning sharks 'cause of that guy that got nibbled? I'd maybe like to die by being eaten by a shark than, I don't know, in a hospital or something, there'd be at least some sort of irony type thing. Either that or by the fire in my sleep. Lately, I've been wondering if I'll wake to a cold Lucy (my Dalmatian dog) in my bed, ir of Lucy will wake howling for her master...

I wonder if normal people wonder about that; if they'll have to deal with the anguish or if they or their favorite hound will go first? Maybe normal people substitute people for the hound, but not I...

First it's "am I evil".....now it's " Id'e like to be eaten by a shark"...........What are you smoking or maybe it's time to start ?????

Originally Posted by carlmaloschneider

I wonder if normal people wonder about that; if they'll have to deal with the anguish or if they or their favorite hound will go first?

I have decided that my dogs and I are going to live forever. Now I need to hash out the details...

Originally Posted by carlmaloschneider

..snip...
I wonder if normal people wonder about that; if they'll have to deal with the anguish or if they or their favorite hound will go first? Maybe normal people substitute people for the hound, but not I...

What is normal?? I'm not and I have 7 decades of experience! We are formed into what we are by what we do and what has been done to us. Birth and death are the beginning and end of our personal paragraph.
~Richard

I decided when I was 20 years of age (I'm 26 now) that I shouldn't let what I do define me. And I shouldn't work for the bigger house or the nicer car, but I would start living and chasing this idea of being self sufficient and healthy (mentally, physically, spiritually, socially and emotionally). I quit my job with Union Pacific Rail Road in northern California to the dismay and confusion of some of my peers. I'm sure some people saw me as an ill informed youngster with a desire for passion yet no discipline. And in most senses I was, but I knew I was chasing something good.

Now I work full time in Southern California in a job I am more happy about but is by no means an "ideal" situation and I'm a lot closer to that dream. But then again I realize that such a task is not easily achieved but earned in longevity and discipline. I'm married now and my wife and I have the same dream, a simple life not being subjected to what culture tells us but by what makes our hearts whole. And we are constantly pursuing that dream.

Just my experience, life is always full of options and with jobs comes mindsets and ways of thinking (specially in your case). But ultimately it what makes you happy and healthy.

And just to clarify. I truly believe that people are geared and wired differently. Life is about find what makes YOU tick. Not about what works for others. And some jobs make certain people happy while the same thing would totally stress out some one like me.

It's my day for quips. There's an old saying, carl... "If you're a carpenter long enough the whole world starts to look like a nail."

Another old saying... "If you think you might have a problem then you already do."

And one more... "Nobody on their death bed ever wished they'd spent more time at the office."

Change is good sometimes.

Hmm. I agree with Richard, and Robb, we are shaped by our work to some degree, but there is a good deal more of our life experience that colors us, that we can sometimes use to shape our work. That is, if, we happen to work in a place where we have a little control over what we do. A regimented job like the correctional world or the military, leave only a little wiggle room, but sometimes it's enough to give the illusion of control.

Having been a medical officer in corrections, I would agree with the San Quentin quote, but my perspective would be that paranoia (a non-disordered disorder) becomes a necessary survival skill. It's no different in my present job where obsessive-compulsive behavior (a non-disordered disorder) about washing my hands is a necessary survival skill, or professional trait to not spread disease and filth to undeserving customers.

Some of the best people I know work corrections, they should not be judged by what they do, as they very often are, but it's difficult to get to know them if all we concentrate on is their job. By far and away Carl, who you are is much more valuable and important than what you do for a living. Figuring that out is an important developmental step for us all.

Caveat emptor: the above was written by a dyed-in-the-wool cynic. An adaptive philosophy that is psychologically self-protective. After all, when things go bad, I'm rarely, if ever, disappointed.