Thread: Affordable Boat

Affordable Boat Act

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The Affordable Boat Act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have an "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.


In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who cant afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27, then must purchase their own boat.


If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can’t). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or can’t afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.


Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert, ghettos, inner cities, or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are not acceptable excuses for not using your boat.


A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard, or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat. Those who can afford yachts will be required to do so...it’s only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.


Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

That's GREAT!

Sad, very sad.

But what if my boat is supplied by my job, does that count?? can I keep that boat ?? or do I have to buy a new boat ?? I guess I have to wait to find out about that boat because boats supplied at the job are exempt from the new law, right now only privately owned boats are in question...

And if you like your dock, you can keep it!


rs,
Tack

Until I read this, I was actually thinking about getting a small boat,,,now I not sure I really want one.
Thanks Jerry,,,

Mrsel63, I'm sorry but you left out section 69 sub part J which states

"all said boat owners must also keep an active membership at an exclusive yacht club so as to prevent the improvement of the land and facilities into condos. Actual attendance is not required just monthly payments. If however you do attend the wife must wear her new jewelry to show you still have good credit. Once worn the jewelry can not be worn again and at the next attendance new jewelry must be worn. Only exclusion is if you bring your girlfriend. She can wear wife's jewelry as it is new to her. But only once. If she puts out after dinner she can keep the jewelry but wife must be told the maid stole it. Stolen jewelry must be replaced by new jewelry and a new trip to the club to show it off.

Any member not adhering to these rules must buy a round of drinks for all present or pay $1000 fine"

Trust me the $1000 is cheaper!

yawn

Originally Posted by gssixgun

But what if my boat is supplied by my job, does that count?? can I keep that boat ?? or do I have to buy a new boat ?? I guess I have to wait to find out about that boat because boats supplied at the job are exempt from the new law, right now only privately owned boats are in question...

"If you like your boat, you can keep your boat... period."

You know, because the harbor master always tells the truth...

Originally Posted by crouton976

"If you like your boat, you can keep your boat... period."

Nope that changed at 6pm last night

If you like your Boat and you like your boat Mechanic your can keep them both "IF" You haven't changed anything on the boat, and it has all the required additions to the boat.. It doesn't matter if you don't fish from the boat, all boats must still be equipped with Rod Holders and a Bait Tank.. (no beer in the bait tank either)

Now if your Boat Mechanic doesn't know how to work on Kicker Motors for fishing even if you have no intention of catching fish in fact you don't have a license to fish that means you still have to get a new Mechanic that is qualified to do the stuff you don't need..

Now as you can see nobody really read the ABA before it was passed so there is naturally a bit of confusion here and maybe people mis-spoke for the last 4 years