Thread: Feeling a little like Job

Life has a way of beating us when we're down, this year has been one of those times. It has been one with mixed emotions. I managed to start my own business and buy a house (with my Dad's help), and so in these respects it has been great, and I thank God for his blessings.

Sadly it has been one of the worst years as well. On top of the stress of starting a business and going to school full time, I have been dealing with a lot of family issues. My parents separated over the summer, and even though it was expected, it was still hard to see happen. They finally filed for divorce this past month.

On top of this I have been dealing with my mom's alcoholism for the past year. She suffers from clinical depression, and do to a highly stressful work environment, she was an RN, she really sunk into deep depression my senior year of high school. There was a suicide attempt, but I was able to call 911. Things went from bad to worse and over the past year she has sunk into alcohol abuse. Praise God though, as she has made a full turn around in the last couple of months. She really is turning back into the women I remember as my mother.

Even though I am out of the house now, the divorce still kind of hit me hard. I wasn't surprised or anything. I saw it coming years ago, so I had already kind of prepared for it. Still it hasn't been fun and it hit me harder than I expected.

Well, over this past month, my Dad was diagnosed with Hepatitis C, and it is pretty advanced. We don't know when he got it, as you can have Hep C for years and years and years and not even know it. It is not at all uncommon for people to have it for 15 years without knowing it. It really doesn't really matter how or when he got it, just moving forward with it. Unfortunately it is pretty bad, and he has cirrhosis of the liver. We are really not sure yet as to what is going to happen. He has to see a specialist now. Chances are though, that it is pretty bad. My Dad has never been a drinker. I have never even seen him buzzed. But he is a carpenter and has been exposed to a lot of lacquers and chemicals over the last 30 some years. Chances seem likely that he will need a liver transplant. I really just found all this out yesterday, and I have been trying to soak it all in. If he does need a transplant, then hopefully either my brother or I can donate part of ours. My Mother even said she would if she was a match.

It is hard to understand why God does the things he does, but I have dealt with enough in my short life that I know he has his reasons. So I will continue to have faith that he knows what is best, though it is still hard to see why right now. One blessing that has already come of this though is some reconciliation between my parents. I don't believe they will get back together or anything, but my Mom is going to try and be there for my Dad while he goes through all this. She was a nurse and so she will be the best person to help him with all the medical stuff, so I am glad for this and praise God that I can still see him working in all of this. I think it is important to look for the blessings in tragedy, as it helps to keep us moving on. It was a hard learned lesson, but one I will always try to remember.

I don't mean to put you gentlemen on the spot, but you guys have been a real blessing to me, and I would just like to thank you guys. It's been nice to come here and get my mind off things. Who would have thought that something as small as shaving would become so important in coping with things. seriously though, you guys have been a great help and I really appreciate it. I just wanted you all too know.

I don't know what sorts of walks of life you all come from, or what beliefs you have. It really doesn't matter. I would really appreciate your prayers right now for my family if you don't mind. It's been a rough one and there have been times when I just didn't want to wake up to it anymore. But one can't lose hope and one must press on through to the better times that are in store.

I thank you guys in advance and I will keep you posted.

Sincerely, Matt

Matt,

You and your parents are in my prayers. Hang in there, life has a way of turning 180 degrees on you every couple years, and I'm sure it will for you.

God bless,
John

Matt,
Thanks for sharing with us. It is nice to have friends to bounce things off of or just to spill our hearts and thoughts with. I openned up a bit on my disc and health issues a little and was swamped with well wishes. While minor comparred to your parents health issues it was so nice to see how many people took the time to share a thought or prayer. I had only mentiond it so people would know why I had vanished a few days and was overwhelmed with kind thoughts anyway.

I do believe we are given our rewards and setbacks for reasons. We may not always know why and I do feel we need to really look at them and think about what they mean. For my own part it is very easy to get discouraged when health, family or finiancial issues hit but feel these things may happen to force me to look at what I am doing and focusing on and to possibly make a change. My greatest mood changer has been that for each not so happy event that hits me, turn around and do something good for someone else, family, friends, strangers, whatever. Look outside of yourself at those times and often your own stress will melt away as you offer your hand to someone.

Even your post here is doing just that and may make others look at what they have in their lives.

My thoughts are with you.

Tony

It might not make you feel a whole lot better, but try to keep in mind that your family isn't the only one with these issues. Alcoholism and depression are much more common than a lot of people think, so there are a lot of people out there (and probably a few in here) who know what you're going through and can offer support if you seek it.

Sometimes you need to ask for help too, but it's important to remember this isn't a sign of failure or weakness. It took me over 20 years to ask for help with my extreme depression, and I'm glad I did otherwise I probably wouldn't be typing this now.

Try and keep positive buddy.

Lao Tzu tells us:

Accept disgrace willingly.
Accept misfortune as the human condition.

What do you mean by "Accept disgrace willingly"?
Accept being unimportant.
Do not be concerned with loss or gain.
This is called "accepting disgrace willingly."

What do you mean by "Accept misfortune as the human condition"?
Misfortune comes from having a body.
Without a body, how could there be misfortune?

Surrender yourself humbly; then you can be trusted to care for all things.
Love the world as your own self; then you can truly care for all things.

X

It has been my experience with these things that are all time consuming (mentally as well) that you have to go through the process --punch a pillow--yell your f---ing head off --but things will change --it's the one constant in life. And don't believe your emotions are necessarily a true picture of life --they're important --but based on your your interpretation of your environment. Don't forget to smile and laugh and take pride in whatever you do well ---

Justin

I don't know what to say. I don't think any of us can really know what another is truly going through. I believe in this sense we all walk the world alone. In the final analysis after all the advise and all the well wishing it is up to us to choose our own path through the briar and bramble known as life.
I wish you well.


Go with God, Mark

Thanks guys. I appreciate it. I didn't mean to be too much of a downer, just wanted to let you guys know how this place has been great to me. I will continue to find the blessings in the muck. I won't let this rob me of my joy. I still laugh and smile, as I am sure is evident by some of the posts I've made. I just felt like you guys deserved to know what this place has really been to me, even in just in the short week. Thanks again and I will keep you posted.

Matt

On a lighter note that is the goofiest mug I have ever seen



Mark

Your avatar, that is.

Haha thanks, I love that mug. It was actually my Dad's mug, and it was made for him by our pastor who, before he became a pastor, was potter and had his own shop next door to us. Sadly my Dad made the horrible mistake of switching to the canned crap and so he stopped using it. I tried to find his brush, but couldn't. There is a lot of history in that mug and I am very proud of it. I love to use it, though my C&E Super Badger is a little big for it.

Matt