Thread: Alcoholism, the scourge of friendships

A week ago, a good friend was incredibly violent towards a neighbour of mine.

We had been friends for only two or three years, but despite her affliction, I thought I
could handle it....BIG MISTAKE !!

Alcoholism is like a third person in any relationship and that person will always be more
important in the long run. It's just so sad watching someone destroy their life.

Every ounce of creativity is leached away, the essential goodness gradually fades,
bad language becomes the norm, you end up being not so much a friend, but a babysitter,
dreading a call in the middle of the night that is either abusive or worse.

I'm in mourning for someone who was a dear friend and neighbour.

Thanks for sharing bongo. Liking isn't really the expression I would choose for your post, but there aren't any other choices.
There really is only so long you can be there for someone before you have to protect yourself.

Been there in a marriage...I feel your pain. Above all take care of yourself!

I've seen it up close also, a father who went from my hero to a tragic drunk that would get dressed for work and spend the day in a bar......there is no childhood in a war zone, no innocence. When I was around age 9 as he was passed out in a chair I crept down the stairs with a baseball bat (knowing I wouldn't do it) to stove in his head while he was passed out in a chair. He told me later that he was drinking 3 fifths of vodka a day when he hit rock bottom......later AA, going into prisons to talk about the destruction that you mention in your sad post. At the end of his life he relapsed and somehow added opium to the mix. Died alone found on a garage floor.
I think your third person observation is terribly accurate. Sorry.

a terrible waist of life,i'm sorry to hear of your experience. just reinforces my choice not to drink at all. i just don't see the need to take the risk of ruining my life or someone else s.

My father used to say that, "the only difference between an alcoholic and a drunk, is a drunk don't have to go to meetings." He fell into the latter category. He also said that if lightning struck him dead everyone would say the booze finally got him. Whatever finally got him, he died alone @63 estranged from family for 20 years. Alcoholism was prevalent in my young life. All of the significant others of my childhood, my family, close friends fathers/mothers, died younger than I am now either directly, or indirectly, as a result of the demon rum.

I've had my own troubles with it and @ 34 I didn't drink for 20 years until I decided that an ounce per day would be beneficial to my health. That resulted in an 7 year bender but I finally put the plug in the jug 5 years ago.

31 Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright.

32 At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder.

RUN. Run like hell. I lost a lifetime of working and planning and everything I owned. My wife of 20 years turned into the monster you see in your friend. I could go on and on with stories but the truth is your friend is gone until she decides she has a problem. That never happens soon enough. I spent 8 years trying to save my ex only to discover that I was adding to the problem by doing so and I became the enemy. Do not become an enabler. You will look back and feel like a fool for trying. Sorry to be so blunt but I wish somebody would have saved me long before I learned it myself.

25 years of running some of the largest nightclubs in the US taught me just a bit about drunks

My rule of life that I learned and have always lived by.. "Being drunk is NOT an excuse" period.. end of advice

The sad part is, it is an accepted Drug Abuse and will never change as long as it is accepted.

So let’s legalize some more drugs in the name of votes and tax dollars?

Sadly all you can do now is look after yourself first. I agree with 10pups in that nothing will change unless she decides on her own that it is time to change.

Bob