Thread: Abstinence only education?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18093769/

More studies will either show a mixed result or reinforce the belief that abstinence only education is outdated and ineffective. For what it's worth, I don't think it would hurt to teach teenagers about safe sex practices in addition to the benefits of abstinence. What do you guys think?

From what I remember of what I had, they taught us all about different birth control methods including abstinence but they never treated it as anything other than that. I would favor a program that did cover all the bases but showed abstinence as the only real safe and morally ideal choice. What I had was really nothing more than an instruction manual on how to not any help in making the decision whether to or not. It seems like these classes at least could help the students build a moral foundation for themselves in the void that is our current society.

I'm sure you could teach abstinance. It would be like maths - 10% of students would find it beneficial and useful, and the rest would just say "where would I use this in the real world?"

James.

I've seen it both ways, and I honestly think a good mix of both is key. Stress the abstinence part, but give good instruction on how to be safe. There's always going to be at least two kids in the class who will have sex, so you may as well prepare them correctly. Besides, in the heat of the moment, do you really want to look at the instructions on the trojan box?

Coming from a semi liberal, Christian home (contradicting terms?), I was raised with abstinence as the only real choice, and I still hold to that.

However, I believe that you need to teach other safe sex practices. Abstinence is primarily viewed as a religious practice by most teenagers, and even young adults. Though I feel that abstinence is the best choice, this comes from my moral beliefs and has nothing to do with me not wanting a kid or to get STDs. I remain abstinent for my future wife, and that is really the only reason. I can't see everybody having the same view point, and I don't see many teenagers not having sex just to avoid pregnancy or STDs. Therefor safe sex needs to be taught, though I would appreciate a greater emphasis on abstinence.

Matt

I second Kentriv, except for the liberal Christan home part. I created my own views, and I am waiting for my future wife, but I was taught how to be safe, and taught that in school. I guess I was just different. We were never taught abstinence.

This is a strange idea for me. I don't think there's anything like it in Australia per se. Is abstinance primarily a religious thing (Christian and other)?

What happens if you meet your future wife and she's not into abstinance? Do you let the love of your life slip away because you're not prepared to do now what you will most certainly be doing later (post-wedding)? Or does the definition of the perfect partner include abstinance on their part too?

Please excuse my ignorance - I'm genuinely interested in this and how it plays out in practice.

James.

Speaking for myself, I am a Christian and remain abstinent as a moral choice, out of respect for God and respect for the wife I may in the future have. That said, I must confess that although some might say I am doing pretty well in that regard (having never woken up with someone else), in the eyes of him whose opinion really matters, not so much (Mathew 5:28).

Recognizing that most do not live by such a standard, in defense of abstinence from a pragmatic view I propose the following rant:

***** Begin Wee Hours Rant *****

Speaking of math, Jimbo, what’s the numbers? I heard a report on the news saying that somewhere around 25% of sexually active people my age have an STD. And why shouldn’t they? There are dozens to choose from. Prior to the whole “sexual revolution” thing, there was pretty much only two you had to worry about if you intended to mess around. Syphilis and Gonorrhea; both of which were curable with antibiotics by the mid 1940’s (I think; its 3:00 a.m. here, I’m to tired/lazy to look it up. Fifties latest, but I’m pretty sure both where curable at one point with penicillin). Now, there are a plethora of viruses floating around, ranging from “wow, this sucks” to “great news, you’re sterile” to “There are only two universally fatal diseases known to man. Congratulations, you have one of them!” Even old ones like Gonorrhea are making a comeback; I saw a headline this morning about how it’s becoming resistant to antibiotics.

And birth control? I am told that originally, my parents only intended to have two children (Thank God for small mercies; it is rather difficult to imagine what life would be like without the youngest around to temper the household). And, oh, yah, as for me, feb ’86 minus sept ’85 doesn’t quite add up to nine months… (For the record, they blame the year long engagement )

***** End Wee Hours Rant *****

Feels good to have that out of my system. Anyway, teenagers and twenty-somethings are not known for thinking things through, so well rounded education is a must. I really have to agree with what everyone else has said so far, that abstinence should be stressed as the only reliable, safe, and respectful method, but that “safe sex” practices and birth control should be taught as well, as plenty of people are going to ignore the abstinence stuff and they should be provided with the best knowledge possible to minimize their regrets down the road.

Matt, you hit that one right on the head, I couldn’t agree more.

- Michael

Originally Posted by Jimbo

This is a strange idea for me. I don't think there's anything like it in Australia per se. Is abstinance primarily a religious thing (Christian and other)?

What happens if you meet your future wife and she's not into abstinance? Do you let the love of your life slip away because you're not prepared to do now what you will most certainly be doing later (post-wedding)? Or does the definition of the perfect partner include abstinance on their part too?

Please excuse my ignorance - I'm genuinely interested in this and how it plays out in practice.

James.

James,

Most of us who practice abstinence out of moral considerations tend to only date others of similar beliefs. Speaking for myself, I would not date anyone for any length of time who I did not know to be a Christian (2 Cor 6:14-18). Please understand (I want to clarify at least one common misconception), I am not saying that “true Christian” (whatever that means) would only date virgins (or, necessarily, be virgins themselves). Rather I would only date someone who was actively following Christ prior to the start of our relationship. The personal history of this person in this regard is not necessarily relevant; we all have baggage of one sort or another. Where someone was is not nearly as important as where they are; where someone is is of miniscule importance compared to where they are heading.

As to the intricacies and rationales of other religious or moral beliefs, I can offer no clarification. At any rate, I find it hard to see how the love of the true “love of your life” would be conditional on your being willing to violate any principle you value as of fundamental import.

Hope this helps, sometimes it seems like my babbling just muddies the water,

Michael

P.S. - Concerning the source of biblical references and quotes I tend proffer to support my opinions at various times, and lest anyone erroneously assume that I have a good memory or have such a deep understanding and knowledge of the Bible that I know exactly where to find what I am looking for at any given time on any given topic , I wish to point out the biblegateway.com is an excellent resource, complete with search engine goodness .
-Michael

Originally Posted by Jimbo

This is a strange idea for me. I don't think there's anything like it in Australia per se. Is abstinance primarily a religious thing (Christian and other)?

What happens if you meet your future wife and she's not into abstinance? Do you let the love of your life slip away because you're not prepared to do now what you will most certainly be doing later (post-wedding)? Or does the definition of the perfect partner include abstinance on their part too?

Please excuse my ignorance - I'm genuinely interested in this and how it plays out in practice.

James.

I would say it is primarily a practice associated with Christian beliefs, at least in the States it is. I am sure other cultures have other religions with similar practices, though I currently can't name any off the top of my head other than Judaism.

As for your future spouse not having the same ideals, I would hope they would have enough respect for your beliefs on the matter. Christianity and Judaism teach that one is to not be unevenly yoked, 2 Corinthians 6:14. The yoke is alliterating to Oxen being yoked together.

This may seem very bigoted, and I completely understand how one could view it as such, but it is really more of a practical purpose then a, "Holier then though." sort of thing.

Scenario: Let us say that a young Christian women were to get together with a non Christian man. The fall in love, and though he doesn't like it (who does) the you man holds out and remains abstinent out of respect for the young woman. They get married and live happily for several years. The woman is a little saddened by husbands unbelief, but she still loves him and so she puts it in the back of her mind. Then they have kids. She wants for her children to have the same sort of upbringing that she had, in a church. But her husband is un-supportive and so they soon find themselves at odds with each other. Not only is the marriage under stress, but so are the kids. Things begin to fall apart and break down. One ox is fighting the other, and no progress is being made.

This is just one example of things that I have seen come from marriages with a Christian and a none Christian. It is not intended to be bigoted, but practical for the forming of healthy relationships.

Matt