Remove this word from the english language

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Originally Posted by Utopian

I have always had a difficult time responding to the how are you question. I just cannot do the usual nicety exchange so I usually respond with "hello," which is all that was meant by the question. It's just part of my social maladjustment and I'll probably never find closure over it.

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I'm with this!
~Richard

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Originally Posted by Hirlau

I agree, closure is a B.S. term,,,, & it's usually invoked by someone with no loss in the tragedy.

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Such is my experience. There is no "closure" from tragic injustice - you just suck it up and wait it out. I'm neither twisted nor sick but retribution, fast or vicious, doesn't alter my view of the world. Sure you go on or you end up with your face on a PTSD milk carton. Thing is, going on from murder isn't my idea of closure; victims don't much speak of closure. I wouldn't have the balls to suggest "closure" to a victim; I doubt that's a word shrinks use after PTShock turns into PTStress.

I'm not against people getting up in the morning going on with their lives, Bob. I'm just saying closure, peppering the media lately, is a feel-good word that isn't connected to the subjects to whom it is directed. Is what I'm saying.

I will now go back to my more private concerns about better shaves, slurry and my future (or not) with natural honing stones.

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Originally Posted by MisterMoo

Such is my experience. There is no "closure" from tragic injustice - you just suck it up and wait it out. I'm neither twisted nor sick but retribution, fast or vicious, doesn't alter my view of the world. Sure you go on or you end up with your face on a PTSD milk carton. Thing is, going on from murder isn't my idea of closure; victims don't much speak of closure. I wouldn't have the balls to suggest "closure" to a victim; I doubt that's a word shrinks use after PTShock turns into PTStress.

I'm not against people getting up in the morning going on with their lives, Bob. I'm just saying closure, peppering the media lately, is a feel-good word that isn't connected to the subjects to whom it is directed. Is what I'm saying.

I will now go back to my more private concerns about better shaves, slurry and my future (or not) with natural honing stones.

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Yea, "closure" simply means the ability to get on with the grunt. I know people who can't do that after an extended period of time and it ain't pleasant. No matter what word you use to describe that process it will always sound like a meaningless feel good word.

Bob

For me 'closure' means the beginning of truly experiencing the pain, not the end.

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Originally Posted by WW243

For me 'closure' means the beginning of truly experiencing the pain, not the end.

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The end of numbness?

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Originally Posted by thebigspendur

There are certain things we say that just make us feel good in bad situations or make others feel good. They are more social conventions and mean nothing.

it's like when someone dies say flying an airplane and we say well, he died doing something he likes. Like that makes it OK and we think well they guy probably doesn't regret dying. it makes us feel good but means nothing. Similar is when you meet someone and they say how are you? Do you think they really give a rats behind how you feel. We always say "OK" even though we may not be. The next time some says that to you just say "I'm not doing too well" and see their reaction.

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This is very true.
For me, as a Norwegian, I experienced what I would call a culture shock the first time I visited the US.
It was in North Carolina and every darn stranger was asking us how we were doing.
Even people we met at the sidewalk or in an elevator.

Before we could even reply they were long gone.
We felt it very unpolite;)
If you ask a question, stop the hell up and listen to the answer.
Or don't ask!

Oh, and asking a Norwegian how the family is doing is a big nono, so that made a few red ears on us as well;)
I know, we are damaged from all the cold weather and the lack of sunlight.

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Originally Posted by Birnando

... Oh, and asking a Norwegian how the family is doing is a big nono, so that made a few red ears on us as well;)
I know, we are damaged from all the cold weather and the lack of sunlight.

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Sounds like a lot of chapped white skin in Norway! No wonder it's not polite to ask. :chapeau

I believe, practice, and preach it is all what you make it. Granted somethings are more challenging than others but the bottom line is what you do with it. Only I can prevent not being able to let go. Having had trash/baggage of the past affect my present and possible future I choose to let go of things I can not affect and or change. I practice, practice and, practice and then practice some more.

Yes it is easier said than done but the rewards for your efforts is immeasurable. Life is good.

Maybe people use closure instead of acceptance ?

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Originally Posted by HardCase

Maybe people use closure instead of acceptance ?

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This is what I was thinking. Having more than one friend and family member take their last breath in front of me and personally going through many traumatic events in the military and out I can personally say that after a lot of time I have found acceptance enough to move on without it making me a bitter and cold soul. Not everyone can say that and it isn't always a choice. Some can and some can't. I consider myself lucky that I was able to find some closure and acceptance. Some can but won't and others simply are not able to. I wish everyone could but the truth is that those of us that can have to be sensitive and give a sh** about those who can't. Those that do choose not to also need caring and understanding. I am just lucky and it don't make me any better OR worse than anyone else.