IN THE NICK OF TIME
by
The Good Gentlemen of the Straight Razor Place Forum

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I couldn't believe what just happened when I wasn't paying attention. She stood there holding a map to the Tahitian village. How was I going to get HER to understand how important it is to blind the island boys with hot irons? The island girls say, "Blind men make the best poisson cru for taste is blind." But for me, since the accident, when I was so irreversibly altered and transformed into a drooling idiot, fish soup should taste like chicken....or maybe veal. But enough about that. She longed for a day-time tryst with a certain legendary and well known Nobel prize winning author of "The World of Straight Particle Accelerators" who bears a remarkable scar on his left cheek. Notwithstanding his shaving technique, which was flawless, except for the Mach III POS he was forced to use alternating Wednesdays. This scar, oddly shaped like his former wife's cottage cheese backside, did not show the depth of emotions he held buried deep inside his stone cold physicist's heart. However, upon further inspection, it appears to grow and throb with a lusty abandon, not unlike the way a suppurating flesh wound does when you suck on it, a lifesaving action not recommended for day-time trysts. The tryst she imagined certainly didn't entail any sucking (medicinal or otherwise), but instead should be confined to a barber's chair and some creative use of lather.

"Call me Jezebel", she murmured with a Silvertip Badger brush playfully dangling from her fingertips (which was odd because he'd never normally have acquiesced to something so dangerous. After all, he was a three strike looser