Remaining disease free, my main priority was to run far and fast away from the odious presence of my mother-in-law who was watching through the doggie door, bent over like Britney Spears with no raggy panties, THAT crazy biatch only wears bloomers! Big-ass, nasty, cotton-duck bloomers the size of a small transport humvee that US Marines might run her over if she doesn't comply to their height/weight restrictions. With her huge funbags Pam might swing like nobody's business, and I shudder to think how I'd fair if they slapped hard around my throat and tangled my tongue and locked together choking while gagging on my lit cigar.

Meanwhile, over at the ranch my syphilitic sister's brother-in-law