Thread: Hey, thou fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragons!!!

As a service to our members, who are mostly a bunch of mewling, onion-eyed, horn-beasts, where occasionally things can get heated in various discussions, I thought I'd provide to all forum members the following in the interests of future and ongoing civility:

The Shakespearean Insult Kit



Now fob-off and have at it.....

Thou churlish, pox-marked, wagtail!

Me thinkest mine eyes are too dankish to read such fool born dew berry but........I like it !!
Please to enlarge your list lest a pox be upon thee oh great apple john?!

Who Knewith insults could be so earth vexingly fun ,I'm actually looking forward to being berated by some gorbellied hedge born meanie hahahahahah !!

[Enter [Oswald the] Steward.]
Lear, O, you, sir, you! Come you hither, sir. Who am I, sir?

Oswald. My lady's father.

Lear. 'My lady's father'? My lord's knave! You whoreson dog! you
slave! you cur! 610

Oswald. I am none of these, my lord; I beseech your pardon.

Lear. Do you bandy looks with me, you rascal?

[Strikes him.]

Oswald. I'll not be strucken, my lord.

Earl of Kent. Nor tripp'd neither, you base football player? 615

[Trips up his heels.

Lear. I thank thee, fellow. Thou serv'st me, and I'll love thee.

Earl of Kent. Come, sir, arise, away! I'll teach you differences. Away,
away! If you will measure your lubber's length again, tarry; but
away! Go to! Have you wisdom? So. 620

[Pushes him out.]

Lear. Now, my friendly knave, I thank thee. There's earnest of thy
service. [Gives money.]

Boy! At times like these, I really miss Neil Miller!

Dang, I wonder if I can save this thread to a button on my key board for quick access.

This thread shall most assuredly go farther than Ciyranos poor excuse for a nose ! The poor Heart torn scut !

Originally Posted by JimmyHAD

[Enter [Oswald the] Steward.]
Lear, O, you, sir, you! Come you hither, sir. Who am I, sir?

Oswald. My lady's father.

Lear. 'My lady's father'? My lord's knave! You whoreson dog! you
slave! you cur! 610

Oswald. I am none of these, my lord; I beseech your pardon.

Lear. Do you bandy looks with me, you rascal?

[Strikes him.]

Oswald. I'll not be strucken, my lord.

Earl of Kent. Nor tripp'd neither, you base football player? 615

[Trips up his heels.

Lear. I thank thee, fellow. Thou serv'st me, and I'll love thee.

Earl of Kent. Come, sir, arise, away! I'll teach you differences. Away,
away! If you will measure your lubber's length again, tarry; but
away! Go to! Have you wisdom? So. 620

[Pushes him out.]

Lear. Now, my friendly knave, I thank thee. There's earnest of thy
service. [Gives money.]

Jimmy....King Lear...thanks for putting this up you yeasty, doghearted codpiece!?!

Turns out wife was not amused at being called a, "reeky, rump-fed hedge beast"...now I'm eating dinner downstairs alone...if I only knew it was this easy!

Cool, Phrank-I used to do the Shakespearean insults with my students-even kids who hate Shakespeare often enjoy playing with the language and insulting each other!