Results 1 to 10 of 10
Thread: Obituary!
-
01-25-2008, 04:28 PM #1
Obituary!
OBITUARY
________________
Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn’t always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. He declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when one couldn’t legally defend oneself in one’s own home for fear the burglar could sue for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman, failing to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge cash settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I-Know-My-Rights, Someone-Else-Is-To-Blame, and I’m-A-Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Author unknown
-
01-25-2008, 04:52 PM #2
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
- Location
- Toronto
- Posts
- 96
Thanked: 0So true, and so sad.
Thanks JMS
-
01-25-2008, 05:00 PM #3
- Join Date
- Sep 2007
- Posts
- 711
Thanked: 22Hell, reading that reminded me of NZ. Like when a 9yr old was keeping watch while a 10yr old boy and girl were having sex. 10yr olds for sakes. I don't blame common sense for kicking the bucket.
Oh and that was just one of many scandals, in fact you everyday you pick up the press, there is usually some story in there that makes you realize common sense is no longer with us.
Thanks for the post, Mark.
-
01-25-2008, 06:13 PM #4
I was at the funeral Mark ---- but I hear he left behind a few children , so hope is still alive as is evident in your thread and the responses so far. I've also been noticed that in little places all over the world, people, just ordinary folks, are starting to construct in little work shops, old-fashioned backbones and stiff upperlips, middle fingers aimed at tyranny in whatever sweet guise it takes, and heavy feet to be planted in the sorry rear of victimization --- it's all a local small time market for now, but ....
Justin
-
01-25-2008, 11:27 PM #5
-
01-26-2008, 02:58 AM #6
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
- Location
- Glasgow, Scotland
- Posts
- 16
Thanked: 0Does this mean then, that now Common Sense is out of the way.
If i cut myself with a Dovo i can file a lawsuit because the blade was made out of plain old carbon steel and not high-visibility yellow coated rubber?
Shouldnt there be big embosed letters stating.
SHARP EDGE! CAUTION!
Im only surprised someone hasnt pulled this off earlier.
Spend some of the cash on facial reconstruction, the rest on more shaving gear
Seriously though, the world genuinely has gone nuts, people are lucky im not in any kind of power because id line all those "No WIn? NO FEE'ers" up against a wall. Then prompltly remove any kind of safety labels and let the problem resolve itself.
Anyone who could even so much as spell bureaucracy would promply be re-employed as a salt miner.
I think of what madness im bringing my kid into and i feel sick to my stomach.
I remember reading an article in the mid 90's about some idiot woman winning a settlement because she removed the lettuce drawer from her fridge and attempted to use it as a footstool to reach a bag of flour out the cupboard, and because the tray had the audacity to give way, fragment and cut her ankle.
Then had the noticable lack of "FRAGILE DO NOT STAND UPON" stampped onto it she won the case.
It was then and there that i knew Common Sense was on full time dialysis.
-
01-26-2008, 09:25 AM #7
Common Sense would still be with us if more couples used Trojans..........
-
01-26-2008, 11:37 AM #8
True, except for the coffee story. McDonald's really was grossly negligent in that case, but you'd have to do the research to find that out.
http://www.centerjd.org/free/mythbus..._mcdonalds.htmLast edited by AFDavis11; 01-26-2008 at 11:48 AM.
-
01-26-2008, 01:24 PM #9
-
01-26-2008, 09:31 PM #10