So I just got back from my dentist appointment. I dont have very good teeth and as a result today had to have both a scale and polish and a filling. When it came to seeing the dentist I got a surprise. I have a new dentist! The fella who used to work there (who I swear looked about 15) had finished working there. He always made me super nervous- moreso than I usually am.

I dont know how long i've been afraid of going to the dentist. I remember when I was in my mid-teens I had one disastrous appointment where I saw an orthodontist took out 4 of my teeth in one appointment. He claimed my mouth was overcrowded. I reckon he just wanted the money that the NHS would pay for any work he did whether it was necessary or not. To this day I have the same four gaps. Perhaps that is where my fear of dentists comes from.

So today I was sitting in the waiting room and a new dental assistant comes to get me. She is very pretty, but to be honest I was so nervous at that time I hadnt noticed. She takes me through and I go into the dentists room. The new dentist is female. But more than that she is EXTREMELY attractive. Moreso than the assistant, she is HOT! She must be in her early to mid 20s (making her about my age). My wife had told me about her before but until this moment I had forgotten.

I am sat down and after some initial explanation about what is gonna happen she gets me to open up and examines me. Now cause its a filling I get a local anaesthetic. Enter unnecessarily HUGE needle....

By this point I have the middle three fingers of my left hand in my right hand and squeezing so hard I think they might break. Then I realize I am ACTUALLY SHAKING.

After what seems like an eternity she stops jabbing me with the javelin sized syrringe and tells me to go back to the waiting room while the anaesthetic takes effect. It doesnt take long. My right cheek, my tongue, my lower right jaw and in that whole area is now INCREDIBLY numb (even while I type now I cant feel it).

I am then called back into the room and sat down again. She examines my teeth and here is where I see a BIG problem. Because my mouth is numb, I cant stop drooling like a baby! I swear, its hard enough being at the dentist without this added embarassment!

Then she puts the seat WAAAY back and the two EXTREMELY attractive young ladies take it in turns to lean WAAAY over me and look into my mouth. At this point i'm finding it VERY difficult to find a place to look. I could close my eyes, but then I just look like i'm absolutely terrified (I am, but i'm trying my damnest to save SOME dignity). I dont want to look in either of their eyes, lest they see my fear. And to be honest guys it is very difficult to find somewhere else to look when someone so hot, so attractive and so... shall we say 'blessed'.... is leaning WAY over you.

I am trying my hardest to muster the tiniest SHRED of dignity when the assistant stops using the suction and... I start drooling uncontrollably. I could just cry, I really could.

I left as quickly as I could and hope never to see either of them outside that room ever again. There is no longer any dignity to be found at the dentist.