Thread: ... and the Pursuit of Happiness

Originally Posted by xman

Happiness comes, not as a result of making yourself happy, but as a result of being good to others.
X

maybe that's only because people are conditioned (usually) to feel guilty when they are selfish. I, for one, have abandoned the conditioning of my younger years and have discovered the joys of good old fashioned selfish hedonism, and will never turn back. Spent most of my formative years doing a lot of charity work and such, 'cause I was told it would make me happy, but it never really did. Selfishness (minus the imposed guilt) has worked out a lot better for me.

Guess I agree with Jimbo here. Everyone's got their own thing, different people find happiness different ways. xman, if you find helping others makes you happy, that's awesome, but it's a little shortsighted to think there aren't exceptions to that rule, scientific studies notwithstanding.

Originally Posted by jockeys

maybe that's only because people are conditioned (usually) to feel guilty when they are selfish. I, for one, have abandoned the conditioning of my younger years and have discovered the joys of good old fashioned selfish hedonism, and will never turn back. Spent most of my formative years doing a lot of charity work and such, 'cause I was told it would make me happy, but it never really did. Selfishness (minus the imposed guilt) has worked out a lot better for me.

Guess I agree with Jimbo here. Everyone's got their own thing, different people find happiness different ways. xman, if you find helping others makes you happy, that's awesome, but it's a little shortsighted to think there aren't exceptions to that rule, scientific studies notwithstanding.

You selfish bastard...no wonder we tend to get along

I like helping others, simply because I'm a giving sort of person. However, if I'm not happy, I likely will not go out of my way to help others. This isn't to say that I would ignore someone in dire need (car crash, etc), but I'm not going to go help out at the soup kitchen either. I promise that I feel fantastic after I've bought myself something nice

Originally Posted by Quick Orange

I promise that I feel fantastic after I've bought myself something nice

most folks underestimate the importance and emotional-healthiness of occasionally being good to yourself. it makes all the difference.

Dunn put theory into practice recently after her boyfriend gave her six dozen roses to celebrate their anniversary. Dunn in turn tried to give one rose to six dozen people, spreading the happiness windfall far and wide.

Maybe it made her feel happier, but that little stunt most likely ****ed of the boyfriend who had just pluncked down some hard earned cash for six dozen (!) roses for his girlfriend.

In retribution I suggest that instead of taking her out to a nice resturant for dinner, he "spreads the happyness far and wide" by taking another young lady who was without a date for the evening in her place.

Well, I am always a bit sceptical of the results of "soft" science findings. 99% of the time they do not even fully understand what it is they are measuring, and consequently most of these survey "studies" lack even the most fundamental levels of control. The best most can do is measure covariates and hold on for the ride. Which is not in and of itself a bad thing, mind you.

Anyway all I mean is that I believe that true happiness comes from within. You being happy with You. I think people happy with themselves will help others as a natural consequence of being happy with themselves. I also think you can probably gain happiness by helping others, by having a nice cuppa tea with your grandmother, patting the dog, or popping an ecstasy tablet (from what I hear). In my mind the question is not what will make you happy. The question is what will *keep* you happy?

Anyway, I did not mean to make anyone unhappy . Go out and live long and prosper! (and if you still have one, call your grandmother for no reason other than to chat)

James