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    JMS
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elliette View Post
    Nope. I have tried - and by tried I mean tried. In brief: My mother's family is Catholic (like Mexican and Polish Catholic, so Catholic)- I figured I should be, too. The more I studied, the less convinced I was of the whole thing, though. At first I thought I just had trouble with Jesus. It just seemed so unlikely, and also there was a lot of discrepency between the OT and the NT. Eventually I dropped out and let it rest a while.

    We'd lived most of my life in heavily Jewish areas - old Eastern Euro, and NY influenced mostly. I loved the stories, the food, the people themselves. I felt very connected from a young age. I thought well, maybe I'm Jewish. I went through a very arduous process and made a full Conservative conversion. No mean feat, let me tell you. While I felt (and to a large extent still feel) at home with my people, I have never felt at ease with God.

    The more I studied (Talmud and Torah this time) the less close I felt to the idea of God, and the more angry at the very idea, to say nothing of the actions depicted therein. BUT the closer I feel toward my fellow man. I am glad to trade that, to be honest. Finally, I just let go of god, as Julia Sweeney put it. I have been much more at ease ever since.

    Not that I feel I have license to just do whatall - rather, I feel much more inclined to do things for the sake of my fellow human beings than for the glory of what I view as an invisible and non-existent creature. (And I will not even go into my view of the OT and NT god. It never sits well with people, so why, really? My views there are probably as offensive as the idea that I am going to hell for not believing, yes?)

    In brief - I feel that justice should be worked for on earth, where we do have certainty of existence. Justice takes the form of actual legal justice, and the idea that we do have a responsibility to care for each other.
    God tends to pain the conscience. Human kind runs from that pain into the arms of many distractions, one of which is religion itself.

    I find for me that God lives in my heart and I could not accept him through the stumbling block of religion but only through daily searching, pondering.
    Where ever your path takes you, I wish you luck. you seem a rather reasonable person and I have enjoyed your posts.

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    I asked because I think the term atheist is incorrectly used by a lot of people, that was a very interesting reply.

    I've enjoyed reading this thread, I think this is one of the few threads where generally people have accepted that every one is entitled to their beliefs and whilst it is ok to share your own, and hope that people learn from them, you do not need to be dogmatic about it. That is something to be proud of.

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    Senior Member Elliette's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JMS View Post
    God tends to pain the conscience. Human kind runs from that pain into the arms of many distractions, one of which is religion itself.

    I find for me that God lives in my heart and I could not accept him through the stumbling block of religion but only through daily searching, pondering.
    Where ever your path takes you, I wish you luck. you seem a rather reasonable person and I have enjoyed your posts.
    I never felt I was running from a pained conscience. I just never really got the belief. I felt badly about it, and irrationally felt badly for god that maybe I was hurting his feelings by not believing in him, but then one day I said - Well, what doesn't exist cannot be offended, so... What I was running from was the idea that I should believe. That idea came from people around me - family, social circles, etc. Once I let go of that - realized that the only sin, as Ann Druyan's grandfather put it, would be to pretend I did, I felt a lot better. Free. I live an honest life without pretending.

    My mother is disappointed that I do not believe. But she realizes that the actions a person takes really count more than the beliefs behind them, and is generally pretty happy with me on that account, so all is well.

    I try to act ethically. When I do not, that is where my conscience gets pained. Then I have to try to undo whatever it is I did. On Earth.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elliette View Post
    I never felt I was running from a pained conscience. I just never really got the belief. I felt badly about it, and irrationally felt badly for god that maybe I was hurting his feelings by not believing in him, but then one day I said - Well, what doesn't exist cannot be offended, so... What I was running from was the idea that I should believe. That idea came from people around me - family, social circles, etc. Once I let go of that - realized that the only sin, as Ann Druyan's grandfather put it, would be to pretend I did, I felt a lot better. Free. I live an honest life without pretending.

    My mother is disappointed that I do not believe. But she realizes that the actions a person takes really count more than the beliefs behind them, and is generally pretty happy with me on that account, so all is well.

    I try to act ethically. When I do not, that is where my conscience gets pained. Then I have to try to undo whatever it is I did. On Earth.

    Curious to know how you perceive where the uniqueness of conscience in man came about ?
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    Senior Member Elliette's Avatar
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    In Re - Paco - I do not claim to know for sure. I am looking at a combination of evolutionary biology/neurology, and societal pressure/tradition.
    Last edited by Elliette; 05-16-2009 at 10:48 PM. Reason: clarity, maybe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by paco View Post
    Curious to know how you perceive where the uniqueness of conscience in man came about ?
    There is a great, and rather arrogant, assumption there.

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    Senior Member Elliette's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gregs656 View Post
    There is a great, and rather arrogant, assumption there.
    Well, he has made his position in re god/no god pretty clear, yes? This brings up something though, which is that it seems that often times "god did it" is the end of the line for exploration. There is a huge discomfort with the phrase "I don't know", and this seems to lead to what is termed a "god of the gaps" position.

    I am wondering, and Paco seems qualified to answer this - how is it you believe that god is the source of such things? On what do you base this? What do you view as acceptable proof?

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    This thread reminded me of this bit...

    This is meant in a light-hearted manner - a joke. The man is a comedian. I don't want to be called out for being offensive, so if you can't laugh at yourself or the human condition, please don't watch.


    YouTube - George Carlin - Religion is bullshit.




    Jordan

  • #9
    Senior Member Tony Miller's Avatar
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    Elliete,
    I would suspect that Paco "knows" just as I do....we feel it. I like you, read for years, tried to rationalize belief, tried to believe, etc..... I kept asking the same question, how will I know when I believe, how can I make myself believe.

    I now feel God lets us know when the time is right, maybe he senses when we are ready and it just happens.

    Mine was quite by chance. I went to a conservative Mennonite Church ( I am far from mainstream when it comes to religion) as I do not like all the fuss and show of most Sunday services. Hard wooden pews, no decoration, no music, just a sermon, our unassisted voice singing hymms, kneeling in prayer into our pews, etc....a simple humble service. As I had not attended at that particular church before everyone stopped to greet me after church. An older fellow invited me home for lunch but I declined as I needed to return home early that day. I immediately felt sorry for declining. As I left the church another, younger fellow took my hand and asked the same thing, would you join us for lunch. Again I declined, almost against my will though.....then an odd thing happened. Still holding my hand in a handshake he looked into my eyes and said "we won't keep you long". I felt as if another person was speaking through him, begging me, now is the time, you must do this. I agreed and meet another fellow also invited to lunch, a visiting Minister who's life story could have been mine. Same background, same path. Later that day I knew it was time and accepted Jesus into my life. It was just something I felt and a serindipitous event in a long journey to that point.

    On a side note, after accepting his invitation he gave me directions to their home. as I turned to go to my car he stopped me and said "I'll go with you". Those words carried a sign to me. Years earlier I met a now 77 year old Amish man named Yonie. Normally the Old Order elders keep to themselves but on our first meeting I was trying to find a harness maker to help me with a project, Yonie didn't have the tools I needed but asked if I would pass by his home again later in the day. I said yes and he looked at me and said "I'll come with you".....not something a man in his station would do, not with an Englisher like me. We spent an enjoyable day visiting Amish families in the county. A friendship grew and we visit often, he is the man that lead me back to a belief in God and to hear the same "I'll come with you" years later from the man at church was a confirmation of what I needed to do. I related the event to Yonie later and he asked about the Mennonite fellow and where he lived....they knew each other well. To me it all played out exactly as it should.

    I used to question, now I just accept and know. I feel no need or desire to question any longer, I simply gave in my will and the belief just took over. You cannot make it happen, it just does.

    Sorry for the long winded answer but this was an important step in my life.

    Thanks,
    Tony
    Last edited by Tony Miller; 05-17-2009 at 01:50 AM.
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  • #10
    Senior Member Elliette's Avatar
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    Thanks, Tony Miller, I appreciate the response. I think I see what you're saying here.

    I know people have been there for me in ways big and small through life (some very very big ways). I think for me it is a matter of attributing their actions to them, rather than what some would call a higher power. I believe very strongly in the capacity for good in people - because I have seen it repeatedly. I have never felt that God was there - for me or at all. I know that will strike some as sad, perhaps, but I am not sad about it now - because of the people who have been there, mostly.

    Don't get me wrong, I have been to a LOT of services and ceremonies, and many are quite moving (I even still like certain parts of Mass, and most of a Yom Kippur service) and even enlightening. But the belief in god part just never came. I tried to beckon it, so hard, but it was not there. I always had questions, and wanted answers. I was called arrogant by a couple of people for "daring" to ask questions, but I have a mind and I will not silence it.

    I look at a church or a synagogue or mosque or whathave as a place for people to gather. Some are very beautiful, and some of the simplest are the most beautiful, and while I know that is meant as an offering to god, I take it as testament to the beauty that is inside of human beings and finding concrete expression through architecture. I also really like a good library. I am in awe of human achievement. I am also in awe of human failure - o, we fail spectacularly sometimes! But we do survive, and we pick up and build from literal rubble.

    To me, to lay the successes of humanity at the doorstep of god/s is to sell ourselves short. It seems that this happens a lot - and to be fair, if the successes we create are attributed to Him, why then are not our failures? All that is good comes from god, but all that is bad comes from us? I do not think so. That just seems mightily dysfunctional.

    Erm....was I rambling there? I think I was....

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