Thread: More venting, this about restaurants.....

Originally Posted by jockeys

if you've never been a waiter, you prolly don't know this: when someone walks on a check, the waiter has to pay for it from his own pocket, because it's his responsibility to collect what is owed.

I actually understand that perfectly well. I really do. I also know that making a waiter pay for a walked check is completely illegal, even though it's an almost universal practice.


However, there is a difference between watching your tables to make sure people don't rip you off, and being a complete bastard about it. When I say that after giving me the check he just stood there, I mean he LITERALLY stood RIGHT there. He stood so close to the table that if he could have unzipped and laid it on the table, and he stayed there for WAY too long.


On that subject, a joke. Forgive me if you've heard it, or if it's a little too off-color.

A couple goes into a restaurant and after a while, the man notices that every waiter in the restaurant has a spoon in their shirt pocket. So, he stops his waiter to ask about the spoon.

"Very observant, sir. Our company actually hired an efficiency expert to help improve our service. They found that spoons are the most common dropped utensil by 10 to 1, so by carrying an extra spoon, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchens."

The couple both shared their amazement at such a clever idea, and just as the waiter turned to go, the man knocked his spoon to the floor. The waiter turned around with a smile, gave the man his extra spoon, and went about his other duties.

When the waiter came back with the check, the woman noticed that the waiter had a string hanging out of his fly, and asked the waiter about it.

"Very observant as well Ma'am. You see our efficiency experts were also concerned about the amount of time we must spend washing out hands. So, they determined that by having all of the male wait staff tie a string around the end of our appendages, would could simply use the string to pull it out and use the urinal. If we never touch anything in the bathroom, there's no need to wash."

The couple again expressed how impressed they were. As the waiter turned to leave again, the man stopped him with a question.

"I get how the string could get it out, but how do you tuck it back in without using your hands?"

The waiter leaned in close, and in a conspiratorial whisper said, "Well, Sir, I don't know about the other waiters, but I use my spoon."

Originally Posted by jockeys

there was always a fight over who got the foreign people when they came in, becuase everyone knew that foreigners don't tip. i've gotten burned by that, too, and even though it's a stereotype, it held true 99% of the time for me.
.

That still true today?

We simply added 15%, and then rounded up to the next multiple of 5, just for convenience sake. We knew in advance that tipping is required, and prices were cheaper than over here, so it was no big deal.
And we usually got very good service.

Originally Posted by Bruno

That still true today?

no clue. but it was very much true back in 2000-2003 when i was waiting tables.

i expect there were exceptions to the rule, but i never spoke with anyone who had gotten a good tip from a foreign person. i understand it's a cultural thing, and not malicious, so i just sort of grinned and bore it. but i don't mind telling you there were a lot of other waiters who were more vindictive about it. if i sounded european at all i'd be very afraid to eat in an american restaraunt. i saw waiters doing all sorts of dreadful things to food destined for the tables of people the waiters were sure weren't going to tip. you don't even want to know.

Originally Posted by jockeys

if i sounded european at all i'd be very afraid to eat in an american restaraunt. i saw waiters doing all sorts of dreadful things to food destined for the tables of people the waiters were sure weren't going to tip. you don't even want to know.

And by the same logic I'll never tip if I suspect the staff might have done dreadful things to my food. Sound fair?

I once went to a pizza place with a colleague. They arrived lukewarm, he complained and they were sent back to be reheated. That very morning I'd watched a TV show showing CCTV footage of what disgruntled employees do to food.

I did NOT enjoy eating that pizza when it came back. I would rather have walked out hungry and out of pocket.

Originally Posted by Rajagra

And by the same logic I'll never tip if I suspect the staff might have done dreadful things to my food. Sound fair?

absolutely it's fair. which is why i like, at the restaraunts i frequent, to have a reputation as an extremely generous tipper. the bored and angry waitstaff will loose their venom on someone else instead of me.

but all that aside, non-americans have a pretty well entrenched reputation at american restaraunts. (and a well deserved one, in my experience) and a lot of waiters won't give people the benefit of the doubt. i'd advise anyone visiting america to tell the waitstaff up front that you are one of the rare, nigh-mythical foreigners that knows how to tip. while this may slightly embarass the waiter (and yourself) it will go a long way towards making sure you get your food as it's intended to be, rather than altered in ways that vary from mildly unsanitary to deeply pornographic.

Originally Posted by jockeys

rather than altered in ways that vary from mildly unsanitary to deeply pornographic.

Haha, I watched "Waiting..." last night, and I'm having flashbacks. I don't even want to know how much of that stuff is true or even based on the truth.