Thread: We've all said it.

There has to be balance. In Proverbs the bible says something like,"Foolishness is in the heart of a child and the rod of correction will drive it far from him." A great Presbyterian preacher of bygone days, Donald Gray Barnhouse, said,"If you let your child express himself you will have the same results as if you let your garden express itself. The hoe for the garden, the hoe handle for the child, figuratively speaking"

Not a popular viewpoint nowadays. I had two 'fathers'. One, if I started crying, would hit me until I stopped. This was a very distressing thing for me as a little kid. Made me very closed down in terms of showing emotion as a youngster and to this day. The other never hit me once my whole life. I don't think either approach was the 'right' one. Sometimes corporal punishment is recommended IMO but with restraint.

Originally Posted by Slartibartfast

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Attachment 30049

I wonder how many looks i would get on the road if that were a bumper sticker on my truck...LOL

I was having this conversation with one of the managers at work. Parents aren't supposed to be their kids' friend. They are a guide through life to hopefully train them in the proper way to traverse life. Occasionally that means a few firm smacks. I've always been close to my dad, but growing up I was scared ****less of him. All it took was a look to reduce me to nothing. When I was younger, I heard "I'll give you something to cry about" more than a few times. To my knowledge, neither I nor my two other siblings ever cried hysterically (or at all) or threw a fit in public. It just wasn't done.

Whilst at work a couple weeks ago, I heard a child threaten his mom that if she didn't get him what he wanted, he would hit her-he looked to be about 10 or more. All she said was "you better not hit me" and he kept on. I know for a fact that if I tried that with either of my parents, I would have been spanked right then and there.

Something else that's been happening is I've been working with these kids that grow up like this and are getting their first jobs. I carry tools with me and use them often. I was helping on a project and was using my pliers. This kid was on a similar section that could benefit from pliers, so he looked at me and said "Gimme your pliers." I looked him straight in the eyes and said "excuse me?" "Gimme your pliers". I said "No. You can ask for my pliers like an adult or you can get your own." He didn't believe me- apparently thought I was joking. "No, I'm dead serious. NEVER tell anyone to give you their tools. If that's how you want to be, you can buy your own tools. So long as you want to use anyone else's tools, you ask for them."

It's my own little way of getting back to the older days. At the very least, I might get through to one and save him an ass-whooping later on when they cross someone else's path who isn't quite as understanding.

Originally Posted by smokelaw1

I know I have said it to mysef, and even "kidded" mean spiritedly about it to family or friends I was with....but to actually slap a strangers child? This guy is so amazingly lucky this was not my family.

Stranger accused of slapping crying child at store - Yahoo! News

It takes a village?? Oops, wrong village.

Ok guys.


Number one, if all the kid was doing "wrong" was crying at a store, that is not a big deal. The 61 year old codger could simply have left the vicinity. He's a "big boy", a two year old is not.

No need for corporal punishment for simply crying.

Who knows exactly what the child was crying about? Hmm? Anyone? Maybe the child got her finger stuck in something in the shopping cart? Maybe she was in pain, maybe she was simply throwing a fit.

If the child was being beligerent, destructive, etc, perhaps that would cross a line. But simply crying?

The parents who have responded to the thread at least are "field tested", and have an experience of what it is like to try and deal with a 2 year old in public. For those who do not have children, but have plenty of ideas about how it "should be done"...you just wait and see what it is like when your time comes.....

There is alot more to effective discipline than spankings, etc.

Originally Posted by Seraphim

There is alot more to effective discipline than spankings, etc.

Psychotic, eyes bulging screaming works. Especially when followed up with a good whack on the butt.

"As of today, she has really forgotten about it," Mathis [the victim's aunt] said. "She's been playing."

Forgive and forget, eh? Not her mother, not the perpetrator, and certainly not us! Children, sheesh!

Another fun line from the article:

A police report says after the stranger hit the girl at least four times, he said: "See, I told you I would shut her up."

wow...

If he'd risen hand against one of my girls he'd have lost it. And I believe in spanking. I too agree 100% that parents are responsible for what's wrong with kids. My girls overall are very good. 3yo and 20mo.

as far as spanking, I think many people are afraid to do today what people did 30 years ago. when I was a kid my mom would spank me in public, no hesitation. Now people worry, even I worry, that somebody will see, call CPS and make a scene out of it. idiots everywhere.

as everybody that has had little girls knows though (I don't have boys so don't know if it is the same) sometimes they are just like women, they cry for no reason. they don't even know why their crying. my older one once in a while will start crying and she doesn't even know why.

I've seen some crazy stuff in public though. my wife saw a mother tell her little boy that if he didn't stop throwing a fit he wasn't getting an ice cream, she got it for him anyways.

Red
PS
My parents were pretty good disciplinarians, my dad more so because he was consistent, fair and never punished out of anger. but they would feel free to spank other kids visiting the house too.