Thread: Common courtesy doesn't equal political correctness or does it ?

I personally don't think they have much to do with one another. At the same time, however, there's a fine line between the two. A contradictory statement in some ways, but hear me out.

Common courtesy is an accepted extension of manners and etiquette often influenced by cultural environment. Our current environment of "F you and F you, too" has brought common courtesy to virtual extinction, but it's definition remains the same, nonetheless. Common courtesy is not practiced, in my opinion, out of any sense of political correctness; it's practiced as a result of personal morals. The two coincide with one another in some instances, but are totally at odds with one another in others.

For instance, if I hold a door for someone, especially an older person, it's considered common courtesy. However, if I hold a door or do a favor for someone specifically because they're a different race or ethnicity, that's political correctness. The former means I'm simply being courteous, the latter means I'm doing it to appease a different social or ethnic group. Here, we have an identical action that's being done for different reasons. I see it all the time.

Knowing this may be controversial, I won't go into too many different examples, but political correctness is often exercised out of racism and prejudice without the person even knowing it. If I make derogatory comments about someone of my own racial or ethnic group but am hesitant to make comments about someone from a different one SIMPLY because they're different than myself, no matter what that person did, that's the destructive behavior that's known as political correctness. In some cases, PC is called for and understood. In others, it's self-destructive, self-hating rhetoric that can only be surmised as prejudicial preference.

As an aside, I'm a very politically incorrect person. You know why I'm considered that? It's because I treat everyone equally. These days, treating everyone the same, with no preferencial bias, somehow seems to equate with racism and discrimination. I'm sick of it and won't change my ways, but that seems to be the manner in which I'm treated these days.

Long live common courtesy! To hell with political correctness.

I once read that politeness and courtesy are the glue that holds our social fabric together. I liked that and it made a lot of sense to me. Regardless of my surrounding environment I am trying to practice politeness and courtesy. Maybe it will rub off.

Originally Posted by JimmyHAD

I once read that politeness and courtesy are the glue that holds our social fabric together. I liked that and it made a lot of sense to me. Regardless of my surrounding environment I am trying to practice politeness and courtesy. Maybe it will rub off.

I only wish more people did the same. Regardless of how rude some people are, I still try to treat people with dignity. Notice I used the word "dignity" and not "respect". If someone disrespects me, I find it nearly impossible to treat them with any respect back. I can get nasty, no doubt, but you'd be surprised how a little courtesy goes a long way.

i think common courtesy is fast becoming something of the past. a lot of people just do not care about their fellow man/woman(PC), everyone is getting more rude and some do not even thank you if you hold the door open for them. i live in the south and holding the door used to be done all the time, not anymore.
if you want to see real rude people, just look around you the next time you are at a nice dining place and see how many people have a cell phone stuck to their heads and you are forced to listen to a conversation whether you want to or not. going out to eat used to be a pleasure and relaxing, but now it is more like setting in a phone booth

There's, in my limited view, a significant difference between common courtesy and the almost weasely avoiding of any statement in any subject, or with too many evasive words, trying to avoid the expected triple boneshattering fracture your brushing feather might incur.

Usually one way traffic too.

If using the word "black" is sometimes "wrong", why is "white" never an issue?


Brings back memories of university days: As a student I had a job of being supervisor in the computer lab. One of the rules: No food or drinks at the computers, we have cafeterias for that. Violation of the rule: You get kicked out for the rest of the day. In general I'd kick out a few people per week. There was one student I kicked out too, drinking coffee and eating a sandwich at a computer. "YOU DISCRIMINATE ME!!!". Kid from Turkish descent, playing the race card on me. A few interested students were following the proceedings. I made some jaws drop by saying "Yes, I indeed discriminate....". The addressed student was wide-eyed and mouth fell open. "....I discriminate between people that follow the rules and that don't. So please give me your student ID so I can write down the number and get out. I'm happy to call some security too, your call.".

This guy realized his playing of the race card backfired on him and the other students smiled about it. He was nice and played along and since then he was always friendly to me, and I to him of course, whenever we met.

As a white guy, you're sometimes in a disadvantage when people want to play the race card. This time I solved it by being totally un-PC.

Originally Posted by 59caddy

i think common courtesy is fast becoming something of the past. a lot of people just do not care about their fellow man/woman(PC), everyone is getting more rude and some do not even thank you if you hold the door open for them. i live in the south and holding the door used to be done all the time, not anymore.
if you want to see real rude people, just look around you the next time you are at a nice dining place and see how many people have a cell phone stuck to their heads and you are forced to listen to a conversation whether you want to or not. going out to eat used to be a pleasure and relaxing, but now it is more like setting in a phone booth

You could, courteously (is that a word? ) of course, get up and nicely ask the person to not speak too loudly on the phone. People nowadays seem scared to ask someone to keep others in mind. Not always necessary.

edit: My friend was doing his law PhD in European law and as part of it had to teach some course to freshmen. He was always walking around the lecture room and knew that a phone would go off. While the owner was digging for the phone, my friend walks up next to them and when the phone was found, he'd take over and answer the thing. Being very friendly he explained the caller that the callee was at this very moment in a class taught by him and unfortunately unavailable, but that he was happy to pass a message along to the callee who was sitting there with a red buoy as a head.

Many people would dive into pockets and purses/bags to switch off their phones. And next lectures, people would walk in while switching off their phones. Very educational.

My friend was being very nice, and a total smartass prick at the same time. A reason I like him so much.

As the OP I wish I hadn't drawn any kind of parallel between courtesy and PC. I wish I had titled the thread Courtesy, common or uncommon ? Wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which fills up first.

Originally Posted by JimmyHAD

Wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which fills up first.

I heard that one a little different. The one I heard had one less "P" and one extra "H" in it.

Since it is my thread that sprouted this conversation, do you feel that I was not being courteous with my post? I don't feel I should have to explain my intended P.C. but for clarification I was trying to keep the conversation on topic from the get go, I apparently failed....

Originally Posted by detroyt

Since it is my thread that sprouted this conversation, do you feel that I was not being courteous with my post? I don't feel I should have to explain my intended P.C. but for clarification I was trying to keep the conversation on topic from the get go, I apparently failed....

I was wondering if that was the impetus for this thread.

I personally did not think that you were rude or discourteous in the least. I just found it sad what a little pressure does to us and makes us be overly careful when it isn't necessary. An example in my own life I was helped by the city the other day by a very nice black gentleman. He was the only black man in that office. His name is Dean. So are two other men in that office named Dean. I had to call back to the office to speak to Dean. The receptionist said which Dean. As I was saying the black man I found myself choking on the word black. It's a harmless word to describe the man who was helping me but there is so much pressure from the PC crowd that I found myself second guessing a purely innocent description.
PC is the tool by which certain groups use to put pressure on a certain segment of population to move them in a desired direction by that group. It is the opposite of free will. Free will allows you to see and move as you see fit and it requires a measure of responsibility and maturity so that one can be thoughtful and courteous of others without the harmful soul crushing pressure of political correctness.