I was inspired by thebigspendur's signature:
Sparks, Nevada Police report last night Homer La Fong Died while shaving with his straight razor. His wife reported he was using his Iwasaki Razor and while shaving his neck it just seemed to have a mind of its own and came to life and cut his throat. Subsequent investigation revealed the razor belonged to Toshiro Kawasaki a WWll Kamakazee pilot who was killed when his plane slammed into the USS Yorktown. His last act was to shave with that razor. It is suspected the razor is haunted.
In particular it was this part that caught my attention:
... Kamakazee pilot who was killed when his plane slammed into the USS Yorktown. His last act was to shave with that razor.
As I read that, I was thinking "If the dumb hadn't been shaving at the time, he probably wouldn't have crashed!"
(yeah, I understand kamikazee and whatnot... It just struck me as funny. "his last act was to shave with that razor", which implies he was shaving at the moment of impact)


HERE'S THE POINT OF THIS THREAD:
Let's see how many absurd ideas we can come up with of things not to do while shaving

Examples:
Jockey a racehorse
Operate a jackhammer

What else should you not do while straight shaving?