Thread: The Laws Of Probability

Just received this in an email from a friend ;


1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.



2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.



3.Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act




4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.




5.Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.




6.Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time)



7.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.



8.Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.


9.Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.




10.Law of Bio mechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach..




11.Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.



12.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.



13.Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.




14.Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.




15.Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.







16.Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly..





17.Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.









18.Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.







19.Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

The most important one is missing. The law of shaving:
'The depth of the cut and the difficulty in stopping the bleeding is directly related to the importance of the event for which you are preparing'

Thanks guys. They brought a smile to my face. Gotta say that they are all spot on and I experienced all of them at least once, most several times and some every time the opportunity arises, like the greasy hands, itchy nose and have to pee!

I experience the traffic law every day going to work down I-87. Laws like these are always applicable.

you forgot one. if you are working on something at a remote place and bring your tools with you. you will have forgotten at least one or maybe two of the most important tools needed. also while working on that project at the remote location, you know in your head if you had repaired it right the first time that you would not be out here working on it again..

LOL enjoyed the read... funny how that works out to be true...LOL

Very nice (and recognizable).

Oh yeah, so true . A little humor to brighten the day here in snowy eastern PA.

All too true Jimmy.