Thread: "Sheffield at my feet begging for mercy!"

Came across part of a story today and thought some here might enjoy it. It certainly raised a chuckle with me.

From Sanders (1926), by Edgar Wallace
The free eBook from Gutenberg project can be found here: http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks07/0700771.txt

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Odwall shook his head.

"You don't know the influence that swine Sanders has over the natives," he said. And then he remembered. "Here's something that will interest you."

He went into his bedroom, brought back a small jar of native make, and, taking off the oil paper with which he had covered its contents, he showed the greenish-yellow ointment.

Mr. Wilberry frowned.

"A depilatory?" he said. "Does it work?"

"Does it work?" Odwall laughed. "It's half empty now. I've used it all the way back from Africa to save shaving."

Wilberry reached out his hand, took the pot, smeared a little on the hair by the side of his ear and, taking out his handkerchief, wiped it. A bare patch showed where the ointment had touched.

He caught his breath.

"Do you know...the formula for this?" he gasped. Odwall shook his head.

"No; I didn't bother--you can get it analysed--"

"Analysed! It's a vegetable product, you fool! Analysts can't tell us anything. Did he offer you the formula?"

"Yes; I couldn't be bothered. I was after gold--"

Wilberry waved his podgy hands in despair. "My God!" he howled, and turned around on the adventurer with blazing eyes. "You fool! You great brainless fool!" he shouted. "Gold, did you want? And you had it!" He held up the pot. "Do you realise what you've got here--what we could have had? If I had this formula I could ruin Sheffield! There wouldn't be a razor sold...Oh, you short-sighted lunatic!"

"But--but--" stammered the other. "But, but!" mimicked his patron savagely. "That pot was worth a million pounds--it was worth ten million--I'd have had half Sheffield at my feet begging for mercy; for the formula of this would have put out of business every razor, every safety razor company in the world! Gold! This is gold! Under your ugly nose and you couldn't see it!"

Thanks for sharing!

I guess its lucky for us that he didnt get that formula, otherwise there would be far fewer Sheffields around for us to snag..!

If that product actually was invented and marketed, I know for sure I would not bother with it, because I enjoy shaving. Most of us probably feel the same way. But the majority of men.........hmmm. I think Gillette would quietly buy up the patent and bury it deep.

That is quite amusing. I wonder if the oinment gives nicks or burns. What fun would it be without the challenge?

I drink a toast to Sheffield! Long live Sheffield!