Thread: Sunday's Joke

Sunday night, in the chat session, part of the discussion had to do with my daughter getting married. Now, I have 4 daughters, and I love them all. I mentioned I knew a joke about a father meeting "suitors" of his daughters. Several requests were made to "hear" the joke. So, here it is:

A widowed gentleman had three daughters. They meant more to him than life, so obviously he was always concerned when a young man came calling, and was very protective.

One night, as he sat, reading the day's paper and enjoying his pipe, there came knock at the door. He looked through the peephole and say a young man. He grabbed his shotgun, opened the door, and pumped the shotgun.

"What do you want" the old man asked.

The young man replied. "Sir, My name is Joe, I'm here for Flo, we'd like to go the the show...can Flo go?"

Flo came down the stairs and off they went.

The old man returned to his paper and pipe, and another knock came at the door.

Again, viewing through the peephole, another young man. The old man grabbed the shotgun.

"What do you want?"

The young man replied, "Sir, My name is Eddie. I'm here for Betty. We'd like to go out for spaghetti. Is Betty ready?"

Betty came down the stairs, and off they went.

The old man returned to his pipe and paper, and a third knock came at the door.

A glance through the peephole revealed another young man. He grabbed the shotgun and opened the door.

"What do you want?"

The young man replied, "Sir, my name is Chuck..."

BLAM!

I can still smell the smoke from the barrel of that shotgun!

RT

RT... I liked that. Maybe we could add to it. Here's mine...

Toothbrushes

A man named George was new in the city and needed a job so he saw an ad for a salesman. He responded to the ad and the guy gave him 20 toothbrushes to sell. George went to sell them and came back later on in the day and was asked how he did.

''I sold 4 toothbrushes,'' he said.

''Well come back tomorrow,'' said the guy, ''and we'll see if you can sell more.''

George returned the next day and went to sell his 20 toothbrushes. He came back later in the day. ''How many did you sell?'' asked the guy.

''I sold 5 toothbrushes,'' answered George.

''Maybe you are not cut out for this line of work,'' said the guy.

''Give me one more chance,'' said George, '' and I will sell the toothbrushes.''

He came in the next day and said, ''I want 1000 toothbrushes.''

''1000?'' asked the guy, looking surprised. So he loaded 1000 toothbrushes on the back of George's truck and George took off and came back later on.

The guy asked, ''How many did you sell?''

''954,'' said George.

''954?'' asked the guy, ''How did you sell so many?''

''Well I went to the airport where there were a lot of people, set up a table there and set down lots of chocolates and said, 'get your free chocolates here'"

The people came up and tried them and said, 'yuck, this tastes like shit.' and I said, 'it is shit, do you want to buy a toothbrush?'''

Originally Posted by urleebird

RT... I liked that. Maybe we could add to it. Here's mine...

Toothbrushes

A man named George was new in the city and needed a job so he saw an ad for a salesman. He responded to the ad and the guy gave him 20 toothbrushes to sell. George went to sell them and came back later on in the day and was asked how he did.

''I sold 4 toothbrushes,'' he said.

''Well come back tomorrow,'' said the guy, ''and we'll see if you can sell more.''

George returned the next day and went to sell his 20 toothbrushes. He came back later in the day. ''How many did you sell?'' asked the guy.

''I sold 5 toothbrushes,'' answered George.

''Maybe you are not cut out for this line of work,'' said the guy.

''Give me one more chance,'' said George, '' and I will sell the toothbrushes.''

He came in the next day and said, ''I want 1000 toothbrushes.''

''1000?'' asked the guy, looking surprised. So he loaded 1000 toothbrushes on the back of George's truck and George took off and came back later on.

The guy asked, ''How many did you sell?''

''954,'' said George.

''954?'' asked the guy, ''How did you sell so many?''

''Well I went to the airport where there were a lot of people, set up a table there and set down lots of chocolates and said, 'get your free chocolates here'"

The people came up and tried them and said, 'yuck, this tastes like shit.' and I said, 'it is shit, do you want to buy a toothbrush?'''

Too bad they didn't offer toothpaste!

RT

John O'Malley stood up in his local pub, raised his pint and said "Here's to spending the rest 'o me life, right between the legs 'o me wife!" This won him the toasting contest so his pints were on the house. Back at home, he tells his wife of his good fortune, and naturally she wanted to hear the toast. "Here's to spending the rest 'o me life, sitting in church next to me wife!" She was very pleased. The next day, she met one of John's friends on the street, and he had a leering grin on his face. "Did ya hear of John's winning the toasting contest last night in the pub?" "Yes I did, John told me all about it when he got home last night" she says. "To be honest, though, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull his ears to get him to come!"

Sex for $500
A beautiful BLONDE woman was walking down the street when she was
approached by a man.
The man said, "I want to have SEX with you right now! I'll drop $500 on
the ground at your feet & in the time it takes for you to pick it up, I
will make love to you from behind & be on my way!"
The woman thought it over & told the man to wait a minute. She
called her girlfriend on her cell phone & told her about the man's proposition.
Her girlfriend said, "When he drops the $500 on the ground I'm sure you
can pick it up & run before he gets his pants down. Call me back &
tell me what happened."
An hour & a half later, the lady called her girlfriend back.
"What happened?" the girlfriend asked.




The lady said, "That Son-Of-A-Bitch had $500 in quarters!"