Thread: Stay at home dad is driving me NUTS

I am sure some of you have been in my situation at one time or another. My wife and I moved to Milwaukee this past June for her job. Since that time I have been looking for work to no avail. I am a chef with almost twenty years of cooking under my belt. I have 2 Associate degrees and a Bachelor degree. Some of the jobs I was offered did not pay as well as we need for me to be out of the house 60-80 hrs a week and hire a babysitter. I would be working just to pay the sitter on these salaries. So I have been doing the stay at home dad thing now for 4 months. In my forty years I have never been out of work so long let alone have a 2 and 4 year old to take care of.
I am one of those guys who needs to work and be in a kitchen.

My wife is a Veterinarian so it is not that I need to work to keep the kids fed and a roof over their heads. By this time at night with one in bed and one on the way in an hour or so I am beat, board and mentally numb. I feel that if I just took a job to get out of the house and accept a lower wage I would be cutting myself short and have a "stranger" take care of the kids if that makes sense. It is a dammed if you do and dammed if you don't

So guys what have you done in this type of situation? or suggestions.

Life passes too quickly to miss this opportunity to spend time with your children. That being said, take charge of your time with your kids. If you love to cook (I am an ex-chef) then do what you can to share that with your kids.
Abe Lincoln said it best, "We are just about as happy as we make our minds up to be."

The job you are doing right now is the most important job in the world. The kids will only be little once and that is it. Enjoy your time with them, I know people that would kill to be able to stay at home with their kids.
Besides, if your kids are going to learn any bad habits, better that they learn them from you instead of a stranger.

Man, i understand the not working part. I moved to Oconto, WI with my parents (had to get out of Utah) and am looking to move to Menomonee Falls. I am still trying to find work, but only for about a month. It does get tiring, but I would love to be a stay at home dad some day. To be able to be with my kids and watch them grow up would be an amazing experience.

The only thing that is keeping me sane at the moment is finding a project to do and spending the day on it. Although, kids are a fulltime job I would guess... Hope you find work my friend! At least you can devout time to pursuing thee perfect shave ha ha.

Take Care,
Erik

I have been a Part-time dad for the last four years before that I was a full time Security guard, then I went to part-time then I changed roles and worked as a part-time storeman...All this time half of my week I was an at home Dad. As of three months ago I resigned (forced to) from my job. I have been a full time dad to a 4 and 2 year old and a 3 month old. I understand the desire to be working and earning your own money. The desire to have some independence and some sane adult time can be quite strong.
But all those milestones that you get to see your children achieve while your wife is working and missing out on those moments...The first time your baby laughs...If you were the one that was there and the wife wasn't she has missed something quite special. Yes the baby will do it agian and more and more frequently, but it'll never be the same as the first time.
The once off comments that come out of a 4 and 2 year olds mouth...That ones that are so funny you have tears from laughing so hard. The chance to point these little humans in the direction of the sort of adult that you want them to be, that the little person will one day be better than ourselves...Why would you want to give that up???!


Mick

Well guys I appreciate the feedback. Yes some of the funniest things come out of kids mouths and my ears have been there to hear it all. As a parent you always do and want the best for your kids. Being able to accomplish that is very rewarding . If I was never put in this situation I would never know the true amount of work that is involved in raising kids. Don't get me wrong with my role as a father I love doing it and at times is very entertaining (most times). But do you know how easy it is for a two year old boy to get into things? I think he wakes up in the morning and thinks to himself "I hope dad brought his A game today"


Sometimes it is good to get a reality check from outsiders as well as others who are also in similar positions to kinda put things back in perspective.

I can relate to the job issue. Tomorrow morning I will start my last month of my job. If I want to do the kind of work I've been doing for the past 20 years, I'll have to leave the state. My wife is continuing to have health issues and she too is looking for a job.

I went through a divorce a long time ago. My ex-wife decided she no longer wanted to be an adult and starting dating. Despite this, she didn't want to leave our kids with me when she left because she knew I wanted them. It was easier for her to dump them on strangers. We went through a long drawn out divorce and the judge fell for her entire story. The judge gave her sole physical custody with visitation rights for me, and we had joint legal custody. Despite this, she took the kids and left. The last time I saw them they were 6 and 2. I can honestly say that losing them destroyed me.

Now they are 24 and 20.

How's that for perspective?

Dude, you are looking at the glass as half empty...Build your dream Str8 restoring place and go to work at home. become the next Max.

Can ya do some catering? Football season is here, it may be a start for an opportunity. Just an idea.

They will definitely remember their dad being around. Too many kids grow up without their dad being there, physically or emotionally.