Thread: An Open Letter to Mr. and Mrs. Average Pet Owner

An Open Letter to Mr. and Mrs. Average Pet Owner
by Bonnie Brayshaw
St. Louis, Missouri

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Average Pet Owner:

Thank you for contacting us animal rescuers, shelter volunteers, and foster-homes about your inability to keep your pet. We receive an extremely high volume of inquiries and requests to accept surrendered animals (and none of us is getting paid, OK?). To help us expedite your problem as quickly as possible, please observe the following guidelines:

Do not say that you are "CONSIDERING finding a good home" for your pet, or that you, "feel you MIGHT be forced to," or that you "really THINK it would be better if" you unloaded the poor beast. Ninety-five percent of you have already got your minds stone-cold made up that the animal WILL be out of your life by the weekend at the latest. Say so. If you don't, I'm going to waste a lot of time giving you common-sense, easy solutions for very fixable problems, and you're going to waste a lot of time coming up with fanciful reasons why the solution couldn't possibly work for you. For instance, you say the cat claws the furniture, and I tell you about nail-clipping and scratching posts and aversion training, and then you go into a long harangue about how your husband won't let you put a scratching post in the family room, and your ADHD daughter cries if you use a squirt bottle on the cat, and your congenital thumb abnormalities prevent you from using nail scissors and etc., etc. Just say you're getting rid of the cat.

Do not waste time trying to convince me how nice and humane you are. Your coworker recommended that you contact me because I am nice to animals, not because I am nice to people, and I don't like people who "get rid of" their animals. "Get rid of" is my least favorite phrase in any language. I hope someone "gets rid of" YOU someday. I am an animal advocate, not a people therapist. After all, for your ADHD daughter, you can get counselors, special teachers, doctors, social workers, etc. Your pet has only me, and people like me, to turn to in his or her need, and we are unpaid, overworked, stressed-out, and demoralized. So don't tell me this big long story about how, "We love this dog so much, and we even bought him a special bed that cost $50, and it is just KILLING us to part with him, but honestly, our maid is just awash in dog hair every time she cleans, and his breath sometimes just reeks of liver, so you can see how hard we've tried, and how dear he is to us, but we really just can't . . ." You are not nice, and it is not killing you. It is, in all probability, literally killing your dog, but you're going to be just fine once the beast is out of your sight. Don't waste my time trying to make me like you or feel sorry for you in your plight.

Do not try to convince me that your pet is exceptional and deserves special treatment. I don't care if you taught him to sit. I don't care if she's a beautiful Persian. I have a waiting list of battered and/or whacked-out animals who need help, and I have no room to foster-house your pet. Do not send me long messages detailing how Fido just l-o-v-e-s blankies and carries his favorite blankie everywhere, and oh, when he gets all excited and happy, he spins around in circles, isn't that cute? He really is darling, so it wouldn't be any trouble at all for us to find him a good home. Listen, we can go down to the pound and count the darling, spinning, blankie-loving beasts on death row by the dozens, any day of the week. And, honey, Fido is a six-year-old Shepherd-Lab mix. I am not lying when I tell you that big, older, mixed-breed, garden-variety dogs are almost completely unadoptable, and I don't care if they can whistle Dixie or send semaphore signals with their blankies. What you don't realize is that, though you're trying to lie to me, you're actually telling the truth: Your pet is a special, wonderful, amazing creature. But this mean old world does not care. More importantly, YOU do not care, and I can't fix that problem. All I can do is grieve for all the exceptional animals who live short, brutal, loveless lives and die without anyone ever recognizing that they were indeed very, very special.

Finally, just, for God' s sake, for the animal's sake, tell the truth, and the whole truth. Do you think that if you just mumble that your cat is "high-strung," I will say, "Okey-doke! No prob!" and take it into foster care? No, I will start asking questions and uncover the truth, which is that your cat has not used a litter box in the last six months. Do not tell me that you "can't" crate your dog. I will ask what happens when you try to crate him, and you will either be forced to tell me the symptoms of full-blown, severe separation anxiety, or else you will resort to lying some more, wasting more of our time. And, if you succeed in placing your pet in a shelter or foster care, do not tell yourself the biggest lie of all: "Those nice people will take him and find him a good home, and everything will be fine." Those nice people will indeed give the animal every possible chance, but if we discover serious health or behavior problems, if we find that your misguided attempts to train or discipline him have driven him over the edge, we will do what you are too immoral and cowardly to do: We will hold the animal in our arms, telling him truthfully that he is a good dog or cat, telling him truthfully that we are sorry and we love him, while the vet ends his life. How can we be so heartless as to kill your pet, you ask? Do not ever dare to judge us. At least we tried. At least we stuck with him to the end. At least we never abandoned him to strangers, as you certainly did, didn't you? In short, this little old rescuer/foster momma has reached the point where she would prefer you pet owners to tell her stories like this:
"We went to Wal-Mart and picked up a free pet in the parking lot a couple of years ago. Now we don't want it anymore. We're lazier than we thought. We've got no patience either. We're starting to suspect the animal is really smarter than we are, which is giving us self-esteem issues. Clearly, we can't possibly keep it. Plus, it might be getting sick; it's acting kind of funny."
"We would like you to take it in eagerly, enthusiastically, and immediately. "We hope you'll realize what a deal you're getting and not ask us for a donation to help defray your costs. After all, this is an (almost) pure-bred animal, and we'll send the leftover food along with it. We get it at Wal-Mart too, and boy, it's a really good deal, price-wise."
"We are very irritated that you haven't shown pity on us in our great need and picked the animal up already. We thought you people were supposed to be humane! Come and get it today. No, we couldn't possibly bring it to you; the final episode of "Survivor II" is on tonight."

Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Pet Owner, for your cooperation.

My wife used to babysit for some people that would put their cat down if it got fleas. Yeah, I don't respect them in the least.

Amen Sister!

X

Originally Posted by xman

Amen Sister!

X

Huh??? I missed this one

See the title of the reply. There are some inconsiderate bastards out there. Just last week, we had a box dropped off at the dojo. It was by the rear entrance, and we wouldn't have noticed the box except there was meditation that night. Inside the box, an obviously tame mother cat & her litter of very, very young kittens she had no issue in letting us handle. There was a note which read something like "We can't take care of them, but we know you can." I wasn't aware that dojo meant animal shelter in any language. The happy ending is the cats were all dropped off at a local no-kill sanctuary, complete with a little extra food.

I think Bonnie needs a vacation. But I agree with her in principal.

Good evening.

You fellows are going to think I only weigh in on animal issues. I really do own a 5/8 Henckels and a Dovo Bismarck. Even bought a strop from Tony. Honest.

Anyway: JL, I couldn't agree with you more. Is it any wonder that so many take the stewardship of their pets so lightly, when so few even take parenting seriously?

Along similar lines, I've been active in racehorse rescue. It is shocking that someone can callously discard an animal that has earned for them and given until it literally hurts. I understand how expensive it is to keep horses in training: I get those bills, too. However, if you can't afford to see a horse through its post-racing days, you can't afford to race. If you can't retire a horse sound and healthy and fit for a career as a pleasure mount, rather than squeezing out a final race or two, you aren't fit to own them.

Regards,
Robert

I posted this on one of my dog forums and it offended so many people...probably guilt. People try to hide from issues they dont want to face...its so sad.

I just don't understand people. My sister was trying to help me find a place when I moved to go to school and she kept running in to "no pets" rules. I have a dog and a cat. She casually mentioned that I'd just have to "get rid of" my pets. I told her I'd live on the damned street before I'd do such a thing. My dog has been there for me through thick and thin, and I by God will take care of him to the absolute best of my ability until he leaves this world and I'll hope and pray he's waiting for me on the other side. I've always said "if there's no dogs in heaven I don't want to go" (that's provided I even get *into* the joint... my dog has a free pass, I don't).

Some people just don't get it. I even have health insurance for my pets. They are a constant part of my life and share in my daily routine, they aren't some "toy" to be put aside when it's inconvenient. When you assume responsibility for a pet it's a full commitment, not something that is just there when you feel like it. I absolutely despise people who just throw their pets away.

I've seen far too many ads or overheard far too many conversations along the lines of "oh, well, we're moving and our new place doesn't accept pets so we're getting rid of little foofoo". What the hell are you moving to that place for then?

The really sad thing is that I think my pets probably have a better life than some people's kids.

-- Gary F.

Bonnie needs a vacation. Badly. I admire her passion, and I'm betting just writing that letter made her feel better. She makes great points throughout.

Now, having said that, I'll crawl out on a limb with a saw...

I'm not an animal person. I am deathly allergic to cats. My sister has a dog that runs her house. A black lab that is in your face as soon as you sit down, while she says "isn't he cute". From a distance, maybe. I do understand people's attraction to their pets. I do. But why would you drag a dog to a car dealership to endure a 3-5 hour process. I've had customers leave when I refused to let them test drive a vehicle with their pet. If they don't buy it, the next driver may be allergic.

I think I would enjoy a small dog. Maybe a beagle. But, on any given day, once I walk out the door, I may be gone for 12-16 hours. I don't see that as a fun life for a dog. Hell, it's normally not too much fun for me. And since I live in an apartment, there is no yard for the dog to play in while I am gone.

People who want pets and will care for them should have them. And as Bonnie said, if you don't want to take care of the pet, don't make excuses, just tell it like it is.

RT