Thread: The world might depend on this info.

The fate of the world hangs on knowing how long it would take the average male beaver to chomp through a tree trunk of Douglas fir about 1 foot in diameter.

Where are our wildlife experts?

I'm not certain, but I will venture a guess, as I grew up on a farm that had some beaver in the river that ran through our farm. I would guess that a 1 foot diameter tree would take them about a half hour to 45 minutes to down. However, I highly doubt that they would bother with a Douglas fir. I don't think they care for coniferous trees.

So, what is the reason for this question?

It was a test to see whether you knew that a beaver didn't care for coniferous trees. I want to know how much wood a woodchuck could chuck .... if a woodchuck could chuck wood ?

Oh come on.
Everyone knows that a woodchuck would chuck all the wood that a woodchuck could chuck.

I knew you'd know that.

Originally Posted by JimmyHAD

It was a test to see whether you knew that a beaver didn't care for coniferous trees. I want to know how much wood a woodchuck could chuck .... if a woodchuck could chuck wood ?

We covered that a few months ago. They don't chuck no wood.

Originally Posted by JimmyHAD

I want to know how much wood a woodchuck could chuck .... if a woodchuck could chuck wood ?

Using the formula: (W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood, which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I = the variable in this equation, and stands for the word "if" from the original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris, whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of this calculation is 1.1. As is clear, this appears to give the answer of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3 units of wood.

To me, that is the best answer from: Answers.com - How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood

Originally Posted by HNSB

To me, that is the best answer from: Answers.com - How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood

Thanks, I got a chuckle out of that.

You dang woodchucks, quit chucking my wood!

YouTube - Geico Woodchuck Commercial - Really Funny Wood Chucks Chucking Wood