Thread: A Letter to Garcia

I decided with all these problems in Congress I would let the Speaker of the House know what the solution is to our problems. He’s not my Congressman but since he is the Speaker he serves everyone. So here is my letter to him.


Dear Mr Boner:

I got to thinking the other day about our economic problems in his land of ours and I think I’ve come up with the solution to our job problems and the deficit. If you follow my plan everything will be right as rain.

The first thing you need to do is change the tax codes. We need to make it very easy for the job creators to do their jobs. So we need to revamp the tax codes. We need to eliminate all taxes for all corporations and employers period. Then for everyone who makes a million dollars a year or more they should pay no income tax and also be exempt sales and other nuisance taxes like school and real estate taxes. For folks who make between 100,000 and a million they pay 5%. For folks who earn between 50K and 100K they pay 20%. The folks who earn less are just dregs to society and use up all the tax revenues so we have them pay 50%. Most of them are worthless anyway.

Then we need to change these entitlements. My pappy always told me you reap as you sow. So if folks were lazy and didn’t work hard and now expect a handout well, it’s too bad. Nothing like sleeping under a freeway overpass to teach you a lesson or two about economics and change your attitude. So we abolish all the nonsensical Social security, and Medicare and Welfare type programs.

Now to these sniveling anti American union dogs and their lap puppies we gonna take care of them. We abolish all unions. Then we set the work week at 6 days 12 hours a day. Then we abolish all minimum wages and cut all wages across the board by 50%. That way we become highly competitive and the factories will all come back here and all those foreign companies will come here and we will have full employment. We also need to get rid of all those benefits. Pensions, sick leave, vacation, health benefits, insurance. They just inflate the cost of doing business.

Another thing we got to do is build prisons, lots of them to put those cheaten debtor folks in. Then they can work off their debt without pay and both strengthen the economy and teach them a character lesson. We also gotta abolish all those abortions. We need to build up our population so when we attack China we got plenty of cannon fodder to wipe them out and take over.

Next we gotta do away with those regulations that stifle business growth. Why last week I was up in West Virginia and they turned this pond which they say is full of pollutants and harmful chemicals into a swimming hole. I was in it and the water was fine. It’s just like that copper smelter near me. They say it spews all kinds of bad chemicals. I can look up and see it and that stuff is colorless and odorless. There’s nothing wrong with that.

I think if we do these things our problems will all be over and once again we will be a prosperous vibrant economy. And don’t you cow down to those liberals and pass that debt extension. There ain’t nothing going to happen if it ain’t passed. As Matter of fact if those rich foreign investors don’t get their money they’ll come begging to us and we can pay them even less. It’s just like that evolution stuff and Gobal warming just a bunch of hooey that overreaching govt is trying to ram down our throats.

Your constituent

Naw, no need to do all that! Just legalize pot and tax it. Federal, State, and Local gov'ment will be swimming in cash. Might slow down some of those drug cartels as a bonus.