Thread: Why can't people just get along?

That way I would not have to waste by Monday, Tuesday, and possibly more, in jury duty.

I understand that jury duty is an important part of our citizenship (for those in the USA), but it would not be required near so often if people would just get along.

Stupid Lawyers.

hmmm for some reason i thought you were a lawyer. odd.

Should you even be in the jury, being a lawyer and all?
That seems like a conflict of interest. On the jury you're supposed to care about justice. And you're a lawyer.

That's like a legal matter / anti-matter collision.The universe just might explode



Btw, I've always wondered: do you get your soul back when you retire, or is the soul-ectomy permanent?



Just kidding. I've been waiting for ages for an opportunity to make that joke....

People do just get along. Problem is, other people get in their way thus impeding how they get along. The impeded therefore tries to obtain compensation from the impeder for impeding their getting-alongingness. The impeder takes the action of the impeded to be an impediment to their getting along, and therefore attempts to impede the impeded's attempt to impede the impeder. Of course, the impeded sees this action of the impeder to be even more evidence of impeding and increases their impedimentary behaviour toward the impeder, who in turn notes the escalation of the impeded to be an attempt to increase the impediment to their way of life, and at this point will often quote amendments to constitutions at them to justify their right to be an asshat of the highest order.

And then the whole thing just becomes one stinking pile of impediment. And because most people don't like wading through other people's stinking piles of impediment, we get specially trained people to do it for us - the legal profession. And that is where your jury duty comes in.

The world really is a simple place once you boil it down to impediment.

James.

Originally Posted by Bruno

Should you even be in the jury, being a lawyer and all?
That seems like a conflict of interest. On the jury you're supposed to care about justice. And you're a lawyer.

That's like a legal matter / anti-matter collision.The universe just might explode



Btw, I've always wondered: do you get your soul back when you retire, or is the soul-ectomy permanent?



Just kidding. I've been waiting for ages for an opportunity to make that joke....

I'm glad you finally got your opportunity to break out the joke.

Sadly I am not exempt from sitting on a jury simply because I'm a lawyer, but the lawyers involved in the case will more than likely do everything they can to try and get me off the panel. They don't want a lawyer on the jury, because lawyers are cynical, critical, megalomaniacs. (present company excluded of course)

To avoid the earth shaking consequence of legal matter / anti-matter colliding, I will simply eject my warp core of self-importance.

I wouldn't necessarily say it was a soul-ectomy. More along the lines of a soul-reduction. However my soul is like a fast growing tumor, and is quite resilient!!

There are very few problems that can't be solved by the PROPER application of high explosives.

The only people lawyers don't want on a jury more than other lawyers are cops.

I move for a mistrial!

Originally Posted by ace

I move for a mistrial!

I Second that..........................Motion carried !.............................

Originally Posted by thebigspendur

The only people lawyers don't want on a jury more than other lawyers are cops.

Everybody hates soul-less, blood sucking, unethical lawyers, until they need a lawyer, then they want the biggest bastard of them all!