I'm pretty sure there must be a secret course that people are obliged to attend when they reach a pensionable age, so far I have identified the following items on the syllabus and am always on the lookout for more.

  • Driving slowly in the fast lane.
  • Driving fast on the only available overtaking stretch on a road but at no more than 12mph when the slightest bend occurs.
  • Age defined right of way when driving, i.e. age trumps all rules of the road
  • Aggressive driving of mobility scooters on the pavements (sidewalks in American)
  • How to conduct a conversation in a supermarket - i.e. each person places their cart at right angles to the opposite side of the aisle thus forming a kind of damn.
  • Times when working folk are most likely to be using the supermarket, the importance of using the shop at that time and how to stand pondering in front of the most popular items for the longest time.
  • Walking to the front of queues without any apparent embarrassment.