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Thread: Installing Love

  1. #1
    lamecrow htmitten's Avatar
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    Default Installing Love

    Installing Love

    Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

    Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love.

    Can you guide me through the process?

    Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

    Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

    Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

    Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

    Tech Support: What programs are running?

    Customer:*Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

    Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer Disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

    Customer: I don't Know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

    Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

    Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

    Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

    Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not running on internal components." What should I do?

    Tech Support:*Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

    Customer: So, what should I do?

    Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

    Customer: Okay, done.

    Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

    Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

    Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before We hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

    Customer: Thank you, God.
    Anonymous

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to htmitten For This Useful Post:

    AndrewK (05-04-2012), animalwithin (05-16-2012), Cove5440 (05-03-2012)

  3. #2
    There is no charge for Awesomeness Jimbo's Avatar
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    After you have installed Love, you could then add the "games" folder to the Applications Menu. Poker works well in Love, but you need to be careful who you play it with otherwise you'll be playing Solitaire a lot...

    (joking of course, I actually did hesitate to sully such a nice post with my crude humour but I yam what I yam!)

    James.
    HNSB likes this.

  4. #3
    This is not my actual head. HNSB's Avatar
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    Playing solitaire is ok if you have a good hand.
    Jimbo and gugi like this.

    Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

  5. #4
    Rock collector robellison01's Avatar
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    Default

    I see what you did there

  6. #5
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    This is getting to the edge in a hurry......!

  7. #6
    Senior Member AndrewK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by htmitten View Post
    Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

    Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love.

    Can you guide me through the process?

    Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

    Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

    Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

    Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

    Tech Support: What programs are running?

    Customer:*Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

    Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer Disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

    Customer: I don't Know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

    Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

    Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

    Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

    Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not running on internal components." What should I do?

    Tech Support:*Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

    Customer: So, what should I do?

    Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

    Customer: Okay, done.

    Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

    Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

    Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before We hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

    Customer: Thank you, God.
    Anonymous
    Very cool and thanks for sharing. I love to see this sort of thing because it always gives me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. Resentment was one of my number one offenders along with a mixed bag of other undesirable character traits I am constantly watching out for. I did not even know they were there until I had help to identify them. They come back once in a while but through a little self-awareness and a simple process beyond myself they are either greatly reduced or removed completely. It is so cool because I never was good at fixing myself and it feels like I have a PhD(peace, happiness, direction) in life now. As long as my motives are divorced from self it works beautifully. I remember the first time I read this poem I was completely floored. I hope you guys like it


    Footprints in the Sand By Mary Stevenson

    One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
    Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
    In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
    Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
    other times there was one only.
    This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
    when I was suffering from anguish,
    sorrow or defeat,
    I could see only one set of footprints,
    so I said to the Lord,
    “ You promised me Lord,
    that if I followed you,
    you would walk with me always.
    But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
    there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.
    Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
    The Lord replied,
    “ The years when you have seen only one set of footprints,
    my child, is when I carried you.”
    Last edited by AndrewK; 05-04-2012 at 09:18 AM.

  8. #7
    Senior Member Wintchase's Avatar
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    You can tell we are getting close to mother's day.... you guys are hanging out in the Hallmark card section to much...

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