Thread: Tax Joke

I just received my tax return for 2012 back from the IRS. It puzzles me!!!

They are questioning how many dependents I claimed.

I guess it was because of my response to the question: "List all dependents?"
...
I replied: 12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 42 million unemployed people on food stamps, 2 million people in over 243 prisons; Half of Mexico; and 535 persons in the U.S. House and Senate."

They said this was NOT an acceptable answer.
I KEEP ASKING MYSELF, WHO THE HELL DID I MISS?

That is an acceptable answer only if you are sending them a check for all the "salary, wages and tips" in box 1 of your w-2... and you missed the good folks at 1600 Pennsylvania

.... if you answered like this they would haul you in revisit the last 3 years of your taxes, fine you all the money you made and then imprison you for not having the ready cash for the fines and interest... remember it is a voluntary tax system, good luck with that.

i was once denied a marriage license because on the line where it said "race" we had entered "human" ... bureaucrats lack humor.

enjoy,
jim

As a retired bureaucrat all I'll tell you is the last thing we needed was wise guys but when they wanted to play with us we followed suit and in the end when we got done with them they were very sorry-har har.

Originally Posted by thebigspendur

As a retired bureaucrat all I'll tell you is the last thing we needed was wise guys but when they wanted to play with us we followed suit and in the end when we got done with them they were very sorry-har har.

And we wonder why this country is so screwed!

I just want to clarify this was a joke as stated in the title. I would never be stupid enough to try and mess with the IRS.

Originally Posted by InHonorOfRay

I just want to clarify this was a joke as stated in the title. I would never be stupid enough to try and mess with the IRS.

Too late now dude, your toast.

i get audited enough, 5 times since 1990, and i hate paying taxes but since my tax forms are filled out properly (accountant done) i do not worry about the audits... so i do screw with them.

i staple things in the wrong order, place, a solid row of staples not just the 8 or 10 needed, i degauss my check, the check is a little short when i write it so i have to staple some currency to it and usually tape a little change on it for fair measure. the envelope is then carefully encased in packing tape.

i do not recommend that you do any of these things unless you are prepared for the scrutiny. also it helps to show up at the audit with a lawyer and an accountant one of whom should be your designated driver.... irs audits go better when you are very drunk, just saying.

jim