Thread: A little class - My New Alfa Romeo (56k, don't bother)

The alfa romeo 156 2.0L Twin Spark 5 speed manual (1999)

In past 15 or so years the young sports market has been saturated with fast, powerful and upgraded versions of standard commodity cars, the Subaru WRX, the Pulsar GTi-R, the Honda integra, and similar type cars. These cars being the epitome of japanese engineering. With each of these however comes the traditional zen that is somewhat stereotypical of Japanese culture. Many reviewers condemn this as lack of "life" or energy, but the reality couldn't be further from the truth, it's Japanese, you either get it, or you don't. You certainly won't get any apologies for it being this way.

Italian cars, in contrast, have a reputation for being stylish, flirty, and generally full of something called character. A foreign concept to me. I mean a car with character? What is this? a Disney/pixar movie?

I remember as a kid that I wanted a GTV6 in red, I couldn't really explain why, maybe it was the wooden interior, or the fact that the engine was the right size (2.5L) or that it sounded amazing, or maybe I was just a foolish child dreaming of a toy ferrari. That said, every time I looked at owning one in the past the idea was killed- dead flat -due to mechanical, electrical or even rust problems associated with the brand.

The little Ferrari, the Italian mistress, the affair with the lady in the little red dress.

So it came to pass that, after owning a long line of Japanese cars, an Alfa Romeo came into my sights once more. Now owned by parent company Fiat, I had found that Alfa Romeo had undergone a transformation. No longer assembled by monkeys(or Ewoks for that matter), the new Alfa romeo cars built after 1997 had something not quite unlike Germanic construction, the engine refined, the electrics solid, the parts improved. The entire machine put together differently – stronger, faster, better.

It is with this mindset I climbed behind the wheel of the Alfa Romeo 156.

Once you get past the shiny red(is there any other colour you’d have an italian car?) exterior, sleek lines, chrome door handles, momo leather/woodgrain interior and general niceties, you’re faced with impeccable dash and what I like to call, the fun meter. While this dial only goes from one through 8, with subdvisions all the way up, and red markings over the last 2 numbers it gives you a good indication of how much effort the engine is making at any one stage, or how big the grin is on the driver's face.

Speaking of which the engine, it is best described as Jekyll and Hyde, with the finesse of a Vivaldi symphony. Below 3000, it is just a docile well meaning little puppy that begs to be patted and pampered. however everything changes above 3500 where it becomes a force of nature, emitting a roar as it starts breathing fire through its mouth, surging, and pulling like a freight train to the red line. It keeps begging for more, as if to look you straight in the eye and bellow “uhuh, so, is that all you’ve got?” .. it’s challenging, flighting.. hungry. All the while feeling like it really isn't working hard (at any speed/revs) in spite of an aural assault that is nothing short of sensational ... In the words of Jeremy Clarkson “It doesn’t hum, like a BMW or an Audi, it fizzes, spits, growls and snarls… it sounds like an engine should sound… not like a monk”

What is an engine without a transmission though? The transmission of the alfa is a bit of an enigma, it is geared somewhat highly in comparison to the other cars I’ve owned, requiring liberal use of second and third around town where some comparitive cars can lull around in fourth at pedestrian speeds. This is obviously a car designed to make full use of its rev range, and about that, just like the aforementioned Japanese, it makes no apology and in fact rewards you every time you do with that beautiful melodious roar.

The hydraulic clutch, just as every other part (including the loud pedal) is responsive and provides excellent tactile feedback. Not much more can be said for that, it simply works.

In terms of handling, nothing can unsettle it, want to make 90 degree turns at 90km/h, no problem, it turns in as if on rails. The car telegraphs its intentions so well through the steering that it feels like the wheels are a bizzare extension of your reflexes, every bump, every curve, every movement communicated perfectly. The steering is neither heavy nor light. It feels controlled, while at the same time wild and unbridled, kind of like a horse that is extremely spirited, but tamed enough to gallop at a rate of knots when guided by a strong hand. On bumpy roads, I imagine partly due to the low profile tires and 17 inch wheels, it is a little rough riding, but it never comes unstuck or becomes unweildly.

The brakes are typical abs style, requiring a bit of travel before stopping cleanly, again a contrast to Japanese cars that generally have very stiff brake response. This unusual gradual development of stopping force seems like it would give a little better overall feel when braking however in the short space of time I have had the car, I cannot comment.

George Clooney or Pepe Le Pew?

This all brings me back to character. Can a car be said to have character? My love affair has just begun with this little lady in a red dress, but things are shaping up nicely. In summary, the car could only be described as seductive, persuasive and utterly intoxicating. Character? – <Sean Connery voice> My Word…