Thread: BEing single and a slob!

I think its one of the finer things, that I can walk into my bathroom, aim the mirror at my face, and instead of going through a ritual of raising a lather in a special bowl or mug, Just using my face!

Thats where its all going to end up anyway, right?!?

So lather up, good, fast, whipp it around and around. So it splatters on the walls...So what?!!
So it splashes on the floor? Big Deal!

So it even gets on the ceiling, the mirror, the cat, and the toilet.

Who gives a rotten rats ass!?!

We are single, and have nobody to answer to, or hear complaining about it.

Of course, this may be a self perpetuation of single-ness, but for now
Serve me up some goop!

"Better Off Without A Wife"

Music and lyrics by my hero, Tom Waits

All my friends are married
Every Tom and Dick and Harry
You must be strong if you're to go it alone
Here's to the bachelors and the Bowery bums
Those who feel that they're the ones
That are better off without a wife

Cause I like to sleep until the crack of noon
Midnight howlin' at the moon
Goin' out when I want to,
And I'm comin' home when I please
Don't have to ask permission
If I wanna go out fishin'
Never have to ask for the keys

I've never been no Valentino
But I had a girl who lived in Reno
Left me for a trumpet player
Well, it didn't get me down
He was wanted for assault
And though he said it weren't his fault
You know the coppers rode him right out of town

I'll be sleeping until the crack of noon
Midnight howlin' at the moon
And I'll be goin' out when I want to
Comin' home when I please
Don't have to ask permission
If I wanna go out fishin'
Never have to ask for the keys

Yeah, you see I'm kinda selfish about my privacy
Now as long as I can be with me
We get along so well I can't even believe it
I love to chew the fat with folks
I'll be listening to all your dirty jokes
I'm so thankful for these friends I do receive

I'll be sleeping until the crack of noon
Midnight howlin' at the moon
And I'll be goin' out when I want to
Comin' home when I please
Don't have to ask permission
If I wanna go out fishin'
Never have to ask for the keys, no

Hey, I got this girl I know, man, and I just...
She's been married several times and...
I don't wanna end up like her.
I mean, she's been married so many times
she's got rice-marks all over her face.
Yeah, you know the kind...



Namaste,
Morty -_-

face lathering is all i've ever known.. and now i sit on these forums and fantasize about the flipping dirtybird.. i know i'm asking for way more work than i really want..

Originally Posted by vthomlinson

face lathering is all i've ever known.. and now i sit on these forums and fantasize about the flipping dirtybird..

All I ever did for years and years was face lather with Williams. It was the only shaving soap (not in an aerosol can) that I could find in a drug store; it was all I knew.

Lather kept drying out on my face before even finishing the first pass (I'm still learning how to shave with my straight). After playing with a glass bowl preheated with hot water in my sink, I bought a mid-size Dirty Bird scuttle & got into making über lather. Now my lather stays hot & wet & thick for all three passes and it's still going strong f/a 4th lather up for my Gillette Sensor 3. (Looking forward to getting that BBS shave & retiring my GS-3!)
Namaste,
Morty -_-

exactly what i didn't want to hear.. i'll be ordering the dirtybird before i know it and mixing all finds of stuff together like i'm a mad scientist every morning.. i can't wait.

Originally Posted by Magpie

We are single, and have nobody to answer to, or hear complaining about it.

Of course, this may be a self perpetuation of single-ness, but for now
Serve me up some goop!

I think you nailed it right there

All My Friends Are Getting Married (chorus)
Music and Lyrics by Skyhooks

All my friends are getting married,
There all staying home on the weekends,
There all doing what there told.

Well most people that come round to my place for the first time assume I am not married, vintage motorbike parts sitting on the fridge, kitchen table, in the laundry. A computer desk that looks like a razor and pipe restoration station. I think I only get away with it because of the fact we have been together for 34 years since we were 17. The first 2 years she lived with me at my fathers house with my three brothers.(my mum passed away when I was 14) So after living in a house with four other single men, getting our own place and only putting up with me was most likely a walk in the park.
The only places off limits to my "collectables" is the lounge, hallway and bedroom.They are reserved for her "collectables"
We both admit if we had to go and find new partners we would both have trouble finding anyone that would put up with our little habits .

If being married stops you from doing what you like then you have a problem. My wife lets me play with my razors because whe knows that it makes me happy. The same as I don't complain about her collection (she wouldn't call it that) of make-up, clothes, shoes, jewelery and accesories.

As for face lathering, I mostly only shave at the gym. I don't care if the occasional dollup of lather lands anywhere other than me. It is the job of the attendant to clean that up.

For the moment, let's leave a wife out of the discussion.

There are things you do as a matter of pride and responsibility that I think add to the self discipline that makes you successful in life. And I do not mean financially here. I mean a person who has their house in order that can deal well with whatever curve balls life throws at him.

These are just some things make a man feel good about himself as they are completly within his control:

1. Clean the sink when you're done shaving.
2. Polish your shoes.
3. Clean and put away dirty dishes.
4. Vacuum the floors
5. If you have a workshop, keep it clean - it's safer clean.
6. Keep drawers neat and orderly.
7. Keep your bills paid and up to date.
8. A lawn that is cut and neat.

Here is the thing, if you are not slovenly, things in your life just become easier. You feel better and waste less energy and accomplish more.

I think you may even attract a better quality of woman in the process.


Ok, I'll get off of my soapbox now.

As always - JMHO.

David

It's not a lifestyle that many would aspire to, married or single.

I dread to think what shape the lavatory and kitchen are in. Hopefully not interchangeable.