Thread: Let's Have a Contest-Oh Boy!

Now you can't butter me up.

Haha! No buttering intended... besides, if I was gonna do anything to grease the wheels, I'd have to LATHER you up, followed by a hot towel and blade of your choice...

My cousin Festus wanted me to place an entry in the contest for him. He says his goat Baaaby wants that soap real bad. She says once you apply it you're an instant Viking.

Well Festus says when he was younger he was over at old Doc Paine one day waiting with his Pa and they was making a movie nearby and one of the actors fell off his horse and needed mending. While he was there no other than the Duke, John Wayne was brought in and of course they made him wait like everyone else and they got to talking and the Duke was trying to learn to use a straight without much success and Festus told him everyone in these parts uses a straight and he would be more than welcome to stop by and he would give him some personal lessons. Well, he didn't think much of it but a month or two later this helicopter lands in town and there he was, bigger than life, the Duke himself ready for his instruction.

Yea, Festus taught him well how to shave and strop and hone and Cousin Cletus went out to his forge in the back and made a personal razor for him which the Duke always treasured.

Festus was very proud of that incident and he and the Duke remained friends until he died. As a matter of fact whenever he made a movie Festus always played a very minor part usually in the background somewhere you know like the bad guy who got his head blowed off or eaten by a bear.

I told Festus, first because he be relations with me he couldn't win and second that sounds like a tall tale to me.

He says it be true.

Do you think it is?

I believe it. Now excuse me ,,,I have to go take off the rubber boots.



It sounds like your inviting the fiction writers to join in?

No not at all

Festus can't win and he knows it and any fiction writers who want to join in are welcome but they can't win either.

Spendur, I just wanna know one thing... When is "'Spendur's Book of Tall Tales: Best Of Edition" going to be published?

The contest will be ending this coming weekend so if you want a chance at that wonderful soap get a movin.

Originally Posted by Leatherstockiings

I started using a straight razor this spring. Honestly, it's probably the only thing in my life right now that I have control over. Recently, shaving has been my escape from setbacks and hypocrisy. Perhaps I will be able to write about what is going on at a later date. Right now I am too bitter.
In regards to the contest theme, wet shaving has allowed me to keep centered, keep in touch with my dignity as a man, during a rough patch. Thanks for allowing me to vent; there is no need to enter my name for the contest because the chance to get this off my chest is prize enough.

Hang in there. Half of life is determined by luck or a lack of it.

Soap?!?!?! Now what in tarnation am ah gunna do with that?!?!



Mick

Now wen I was a youngin my Pa used to use it to wash out my mouth.