Thread: Thebigspendurs Weekly Shaving Brainbuster #7

Good morning shaving fiends.

Yes, we all love our hones and enjoy using them. Why the other day cousin Festus was over to the ranch and I was telling him once I finish plowing the lower forty and branding the cattle and doing my chores there is nothing that I would rather do than sit by the radio listening to some neat programs (we only got electricity here in New Mexico about a year ago and there is no T.V reception) and hone my razors whether they need them or not and they always do. Festus said once he’s done milking the goats and slopping the pigs and cleaning out the latrine he likes to do the same thing but he would rather lap his hones than hone his razor. He says his Chinese 12K is so highly polished he uses it as a mirror and since he’s so poor he can only afford one DA and that’s it.

So whether you use a Coticule or a Naniwa or a Shapton or a Japanese Natural or a rock from your backyard like Festus used to do or any of the other hones out there or whether the hone is 3 inches wide or 1 inch wide or 8 inches long or 3 inches long or is irregular like a bout we all know the proper way to hone right?

Cousin Festus says the correct way to use a hone for typical razor maintenance once you have a good edge and just need a touchup is to lay the razor on the 220 grit hone, edge leading and turn the razor with a slight toe up angle and put two fingers near the pivot and two more fingers on the blade and using minimal pressure go straight up the hone. Once you get to the end you pick up the razor off the hone and turn it around and go the other direction. You can always tell when you’ve done enough strokes because the razor gets stuck to the hone and won’t budge. That’s why Festus recommends using axle grease on your hones to keep things moving.

Cousin Festus is an expert at this and says he finishes up his honing by putting the razor under a magnifying glass and leaves it out in the sun for a few hours and that kills all the bad bacteria and no goat farmer would ever steer you wrong would he? Festus tests his razors for shave ready condition by shaving his goats’ faces. Lulu belle is the only one who seems to like it but then again he has a special relationship with her (if you know what I mean).

So the question my razorious friends for this weeks shaving brainbuster is to review the previous two paragraphs and locate the misinformation. Of course it may all be the gospel truth. Then rate Cousin Festus’s probable honing acumen.

Be sure to check back on Wednesday for the ultimate truth to honing. You won’t believe it.

axle grease... hmm.... might be crazy enough to be brilliant

Does "DA" mean double arrow? Whatever the answer is I'll stick it on the "Acronyms and Abbreviations" page.
Thanks,
Kent

yes, DA is Double arrow.

l. everything he said!
2. everything he did!

Too much time involved to try to go into the detail. It's all misinformation. Maybe not the part about his GF (goatfriend), just the rest of it.

I know this one!!

Roosters do not lay eggs!

James.

Well I was over to Festus' place today and according to his brother Cletus after I told him he was all wet about honing he packed up and he and Lulu belle split. I never thought festus was smart enough to make it on his own but Cletus said Lulu Belle will take care of him (if you know what I mean).

At any rate the only true thing Festus said was to hone with the edge leading. I would rate him an F- in honing. So what won't you believe? Well according to Cletus, Festus rigged up some contraption that enabled Lulu Belle to shave herself with a straight. So if you come upon a dim witted guy with a well shaved goat, well you get the drift.

Check back next week for another episode in the amazing adventures of the shaving brainbuster.