Good morning shaving fiends.

The missus and I stopped into town and drove into Honest Hakim’s used car lot. He sold me a 1958 Studebaker in mint condition. He took the UPS truck in trade. I didn’t tell him it was stolen. He said just take it and come back next week to do the paperwork. I said why you in such a big hurry. He said he was invited over to the Reservation, something about a big surprise.

On the way back we stopped at the clan’s ranch and only Festus was there. He said the rest went to the Reservation. I told him something smells fishy to me about this big surprise. He said let’s get pa’s twin 50 cal anti aircraft gun he mounted on that flatbed out back and go see what’s going on.

So we left taking all the back roads that parallel the interstate and noticed the Indians had a roadblock and were pulling people out of their cars and abducting them. When we got to the reservation we saw the Indians had made a stockade and had all the townspeople and folks from the interstate locked up.

We could see Billy Bob was telling the Indians about when he was locked up in that Government facility some Middle East terrorists told him how to kidnap people and when he got the money for them he could buy explosives and wage a holy war. Now he convinced the Indians to be his soldiers with the aim of turning the Reservation into an independent country with him as supreme leader of course.

I walked down to the encampment and saw a bunch of black helicopters and told Joe something’s wrong here. We sneaked up on Billy Bob’s tent and that guy they call Mr. Vice President was telling Billy Bob once the Reservation was an independent country they could do the same to all the Indian reservations throughout the country. Then he would use the Reservation as a staging ground to take over the whole country with him as Boss. He would install Billy Bob as Supreme Indian Boss.

Joe said now he realized he was duped from the start. The tribe was convinced Billy Bob was a true God and wouldn’t listen to him. I said I had an idea. We went back to my ranch and got the General and made up a disguise and turned him into a fire breathing monster. We took him back to the reservation and confronted Billy Bob and Mr. Vice President.
They ordered the Indians to attack us and kill some of the hostages but when the General starts spewing fire balls and starts talking it was easy to convince the Indians he was the bigger tougher god and we ordered the tribe to attack them. Festus opened up with twin fifty destroying the black helicopters and the general took off after Mr. Vice president through the National Forrest. Billy Bob jumped on a horse and took off yelling for Mr. Vice president to wait for him. He yelled back he had to get back to Washington in a hurry. Something about a contest he had entered to win a shaving brush and he didn’t want to miss any clues.

Well, the Indians released the hostages and Joe gave everybody some eagle feathers and some genuine handmade Indian Artifacts and Craft items made in China and then they made a big feast and Joe gave them some samples of his new shave preparation and after smoking some peyote they didn’t even want to leave.

I guess the General will come home once he gets hungry enough.

The shaving brainbuster for this week concerns all those weapons Cletus made for the Indians.

He made a bunch of Obsidian knives. Can we use them for shaving? What’s the term used for making an edge on obsidian? How about the carbon steel tomahawks? Can we shave with them?

Check back on Friday for the answers.

Only two more weeks for the holiday giveaway, you think that Vice president guy is going to win?