Thread: The Gentlemanly Arts & the Real World

Lately I find myself reaching for the DE more & more, because I don't have a half hour to shave. On weekdays, I have a long commute by public transit, and my GF & I like to cook breakfast. On weekends I'm usually headed out the door to snowboard, longboard, ride a motorcycle, etc, & I want to get to it.

Another thing I enjoy but rarely get to do is wear fine clothes. Unfortunately, fine clothes are incompatible with physical activity, & the only time I'm not doing anything physical is when I'm asleep.

Shoes? Forget it. Boston eats nice shoes for breakfast. I used to think those execs on the subway with the suits and Timberland boots had no fashion sense. Now I know better. Standard gear in this city is Timberland, Mountain Hard Wear, & Eastern Mountain Sports.

How do you gentlemen handle the conflicts between indulging in gentlemanly arts vs. prectical considerations in the real world?

Real world be damned! This inclination may be because I'm more on the inactive side, I work out 2-3 times a week, but mostly I play games, sharpen knives, and experiment with razors... I'm not too much of an "activity" guy.

I consider life to be too short to try and please everyone. Hell, even if you're a hobo, or a millionaire, when you die, it's over. So, in the time between now and then, I enjoy and indulge.

I've garnered quite a few insults because, every now and then, I wear a Victorian-esque suit to highschool (which I recently graduated (a mini-death, if you will)) I no longer attend highschool, so do I care how they thought of me? No. And you know what? That suit got me my fiance-to-be. Odd how showing up in a Waistcoat, flared lapel jacket, and nice trousers (cane and tophat optional ) Got me the most amazing woman north of the Equator.

As for the shaving, that's just a matter of time juggling. I have morning classes at 7:30 Am.. So I shave at night. I actually prefer that... Shaving in the morning starts you off on the right foot, but there's only so much you can do with limited time. Shaving at night gives you all the time you need, and lets you relax, unwind, and enjoy the process. It's very therapeutic.

It all comes down to how you want to be viewed. If you just don't give a damn what the world expects of you, you find that you can set your own expectations, and it's a mighty fine feeling. All you have to do is mold yourself for an occasion that you do want to present a nice front, then enjoy the rest.

/rambling

I like what you have to say, Zombie (though it is off on a bit of a tangent). The gist of my post is not about caring how others view me, it's about how I like to be dapper but I rarely can be because you can't longboard in dressy clothes. What do you other active gents do? Carry clothes in a bag & change when you get where you're going? Wear snazzy combat boots when it snows? Is there such a thing as a snazzy pair of snow boots?

I really dig the Victorian suit thing. I myself go in for the Johnny Cash / Roy Orbison look when I can do it. Actually I'm not surprised the suit got you your current GF. Indifference to social pressure is an alpha trait. (Trying to blend into the woodwork is a beta trait). Guys may jeer but girls take notice.

People are much less judgmental in the adult world, as you shall see. High school kids really are a bunch of little conformist twits (I know I was). Jello Biafra once said of the metalheads, "No gym teacher in america could get so many kids to dress exactly alike." I predict you'll find life on the outside much more agreeable.

With a bit more practise the shave will take no longer than any other method. I can get one out in 5 minutes, but prefer to spend a little longer. I do like a gentlemanly twist, but i tend not to be old fashioned.

I also have quite the wardrobe, and have enjoyed being well-dressed and well-groomed since I was very small. My grandparents were always taking me to Saks for new clothes, and Supercuts didn't come into being until I was a teenager, so I was raised on proper barbers. My mom tells me I almost cried when she wouldn't let me wear a tie to my first day of kindergarten.

Several years ago, I got a job that involved a greater amount of getting my hands dirty than I was used to, being a software and systems engineer by trade. As I got more and more into the greasy world of robot inspection, test, and failure analysis, I found my myself wearing grubbier and grubbier clothes at work. I won't even mention what that kind of thing does to the hands.

I tried to make up for it by changing when I got home, and making sure I dressed properly when I went out, either by myself or with my family, and on weekends. Suits don't come out much, except for church, although I did just buy a tuxedo just for fun. I try to be a good example to my two sons by not turning into a slot when I get home. My dad always shaved and dressed properly on weekends, and I think that influenced me a lot.

My new job is back to software, so my wardrobe is back to my usual standards. Although a suit would put me out of uniform among my fellow engineers, that doesn't mean I can't wear reasonable clothes. And I just get up 15 minutes early to shave. Gentlemanly arts managed!

Cheers!

Fred

Originally Posted by Johnny J

I really dig the Victorian suit thing. I myself go in for the Johnny Cash / Roy Orbison look when I can do it. Actually I'm not surprised the suit got you your current GF. Indifference to social pressure is an alpha trait. (Trying to blend into the woodwork is a beta trait). Guys may jeer but girls take notice.

Actually, it's not even that my "alpha traits" caught her eye. Most of the girls mocked me too...

The day after I showed up in the getup: Tophat, steel-knob cane, trousers, waistcoat, pocket watch, three-button flared lapel jacket... the works, She showed up in a victorian-esque dress: lace up back, ruffled skirts, opera gloves, and matching hair-thing, and asked me out.

It was pretty sweet. We've been together for 2 years so far (Well, 2 years on February 6th)

Best dressed couple at prom, thank you very much! (although, I credit that to her upper half actually remaining covered, and my underclothes actually staying UNDER my CLOTHES (Funny how that works, isn't it, kids?)

But I digress... The gentlemanly arts have gone too far out of sway. I like to bring a little bit of chivalry back to modern ages... Although jocks do not see the humor in challenging them to duels... It ends badly.

Johnny J,

I think that the substitutions you have to make due to time or circumstance are an extension of being a gentleman.

Think of it this way. My father was a working class joe. He worked swing shift and I rarely saw him. What is worse is he rarely saw us. That was not his first, second, or third choice, but he made the choice of a man. A man that worked to get three sons through college. He broke a cylce of generational near-poverty level existance by what he did.

Was he a man? Hell yes! Was he a gentleman? Hell yes! Did he get to do the things he wanted on a regular basis? Hell no!

My point is that a gentleman is a gentleman based on who and what they are, not what they wear or the hobbies they have.

As a gentleman, appreciate your time and responsibilities. Take the pleasures as you can get them and know that you are a gentleman inside first.

David

Some really good responses here!

@Ben: If you can do a str8 shave in 5 minutes, props to you! I've been at this for several years now and the fastest I can do is a lousy 1-pass in 10 minutes. The full 3 passes take around 25.

@Zombie: Underclothes under your clothes. Ha! I laughed out loud at that one.

@Alembic: True!

On the fashion front, one thing you can do in any kind of clothes, is to wear clothes that fit. Most American men don't. Clothes in this country tend to be very baggy, and American manufacturers have ceased making athletic-cut shirts at all. A fitted T-shirt will look better than a baggy button-down. My GF has a sewing machine, and she took in a bunch of my grandfather's shirts for me. My grandfather was a very dapper guy in his day, and almost my size. I think the old man would get a kick out of knowing that I'm wearing his Oleg Cassini shirts

Hey Johnny,

I think one of the things you're getting at is priorities:

Time - Extra 15 min sleep vs More time to shave?

You can get up earlier (that's what I do) or shave at night.

I currently take 25min
- that's from putting brush into hot water to final strop and everything packed up.

If I really wanted, I could speed it up, maybe 10-15min with one pass?

But you can work out strategies to make your morning routines more efficient - and save you time... that you can then devote to something important.

Practicality - Yep - not sensible to wear formal suit if working on a car...
I guess you just adjust to the situation - use your imagination if you wish to be stylish and practical.

All the best,
Michael

Or there's the ever-classy alternative of tatooing a vintage tuxedo over 90% of your body, and then walking around in the buff...

Overdoing it?