Thread: Thebigspendurs Weekly Shaving Brainbuster #40

Good Morning Shaving Fiends

Well, Jethro telegraphed me and told me after the President was revealed to be an Illegal Alien who was smuggled into the U.S through Canada he denied it and ordered the FBI to arrest Mr Sasquatch for threatening the President. However, when they took him to FBI headquarters and they gave him a lie detector test he passed with flying colors. He explained to them how the Birth Certificate was forged. He also told them it was so well done it had to have been state sponsored. They asked him how he knew all of this and he said I know everything.

Well they got this Mr President and confronted him and he denied everything. So Mr Sasquatch told them to inject him with some drug and when they did he started to change appearance. After about 10 minutes it was obvious this guy was Chinese. After some enhanced interrogation techniques (har har) he admitted he was the Grandson of Mao Tse Tung and they had hatched this plot to take over the U.S. The plan was to make sure China held all the debt of the U.S and then this ringer would put policies into place to bankrupt the whole country and then China would demand full payment on the debt. Why they could just waltz into this country and take over without firing a shot. Then they would enslave all the Americans and emigrate their citizens to the U.S.

Wow quite a story eh? Yes it’s all true.

Well I can’t worry about this small stuff I have a ranch to run and now a barbershop. Those Badgers found Cyrus had smuggled a Badger Brush into the shop and while he was stropping his razor, why one of those badgers ran over to him and bit his privates clean off (yeeeeow). That was a funny sight. The Chimps were rolling on the floor and Baaaby came over to clean up the mess. Those Chimps must think they’re on vacation or something because they don’t want to work. Something about wanting better pay and benefits befitting the hero’s they think they are.

Well, now I was in a pickle. I had no one to give shaves. Hmm what I did is I had Miss Hogslopper come over and she shaved guys with a cartridge razor but she did it topless. Wow every guy in the county was lined up to get a shave. She didn’t know what sje was doing but hey how much damage can you do with one of those things anyway? We were really raking it in now. The only problem was since she also gave haircuts the hair kept falling on her and she kept scratching herself and um..well…

So I come into town to open up the shop and there is a reception waiting for us. The Preacher is there with his flock waiving around some snakes saying we’re all going to hell because we was doing some amoral stuff. Chee-Chee said we had gone too far and he would have to close up the shop due to infr, infact, heck you know what I mean.

When the two Badgers showed up the Preacher called them unclean animals and they should be exterminated and their meat fed to hogs. They just jumped up and killed the snakes. Then they had the whole badger city come into town to create mayhem. First they ate all the cats, then they ate all the dogs, then they started attacking the people. Yep the citizens had enough and allowed the shop to open up again.

Well the shaving brainbuster concerns our temporary barber Miss Hogslopper. I mean, would you pay to have her give you a shave and a haircut using some Gillette Cartridge razor when she was topless and watch her strop a straight (which she doesn’t use) on her uh…um…err well use your imagination. Could you really strop a razor like that (hey watch it this is a family rated site) How much would you pay for that. Some people come into town and pay with barter. I’m getting a warehouse of stuff out back. Also how often should she change those blades? I told her every ten customers.

Check back on Friday for the dirty answers.

Unless she is really good looking I would not risk it being the 10th customer being shaved with the same Gilette cartridge thingy. She should use a fresh blade on every new customer.

Does she do kinky stuff? I mean, stropping a razor she does NOT use for shaving?

You can use your skin to strop a razor, this item has been covered many times here.

I just don't know about this Kees fella he must be awful smart to come up with the correct answers all the time. When I quit school in the 2nd grade he must be like those other guys who made it all the way to the 6th.

Of course you would change the cartridge for every new customer as you would a disposable straight or autoclave a regular straight.

As far as Ms Hogslopper goes I ain't touching that... Har Har.