Thread: well, that didn't work...

Well, that didn’t work.

I’m sitting here pondering why I started messing with straight razors in the first place and I have to admit that I have fallen well short of my goals.

First, I wanted the ultimate shave because I have dark hair and a fair complexion- oh heck, I’m vampire white. (But vampires are so in these days…) No matter how close I shaved with those little blue plastic razors, I still looked like my face needed washing. No it wasn’t five o’clock shadow or manly stubble a la G. Clooney. No, it looked like dirt. Especially when my pasty white visage was placed under bright lights or subjected to flash photography.

I had hopes that the straight razor would obliterate all visual traces of facial hair thus making me attractive (or at least less repulsive) to the opposite sex. After years (pre SRP years) of trial and error, I can now achieve a shave that leaves my face feeling like polished ivory.

I say to my wife, feel my face. She sighs and complies.

What’s it feel like?

Ivory, she says.

No, polished ivory says I.

But under bright office lights, I still look dirty. So much for the ultimate shave. I suppose I could wear makeup. Or, as my wife often suggests, go out in the sun once in awhile. And maybe cut the grass while I’m out there.

Secondly, I wanted to take up the straight razor to achieve something simple and Spartan in my modern life. Something indefinable that I hadn’t found in backpowder shooting or tomahawk throwing. But one razor leads to another. Which leads to a strop or two and then some hones and maybe another razor (no, the one on the left with the little ducks on it.) And my wife is such an enabler because she’s so much happier that I’m not bringing another musket or a pile of pelts into the house.

But suddenly, I’m acquiring so much stuff and spending so much time doing it. True, compared to some people’s acquisition disorders, my razor collection is truly humble. But I have more razors than I ever expected I would have. Maybe the little blue plastic razor was the way to go for the simple life At least I haven’t fallen under the spell of expensive soaps and scents. Yet.

Maybe I need to shave with obsidian. I’ll look for some while I’m out cutting the grass. Then I’ll cruise E-bay looking for some vintage knapping tools…

How about starting a blog?? You seem well spoken and that was a well composed diatribe if I ever saw one. Maybe expressing yourself is what you have been missing out on!

Great post! Thanks.

Your problem is you set your sights too low. Rather than polished ivory you should strive for polished obsidian. Only then will you know the true path to shaving glory and earn admittance through the pearly gates after passing the holy shaving test.

You have expressed the sadness we all share-we searched for the perfect shave and transformed our former lives, in vain. We may be following in the footsteps of generations of disappointed men throughout the ages; consider the mystery of the statues on Easter Island-I believe that they may still be waiting for the shave you so aptly described.

Originally Posted by Croaker

You have expressed the sadness we all share-we searched for the perfect shave and transformed our former lives, in vain. We may be following in the footsteps of generations of disappointed men throughout the ages; consider the mystery of the statues on Easter Island-I believe that they may still be waiting for the shave you so aptly described.

Very good!

Very well written post

Thank you for a smile..

I have determined in my quest for the perfect shave, that appearance and the to strive for BBS is secondary in my case...I only want comfort, I am all about no irritation, if smooth skin is the by product of that comfort, then so be it...