Thread: The Twelve Apostles Razor(Minty)

Originally Posted by phopwood

Are we suppose to be leave that this is a razor owned 2000 years ago. Oh and they signed it.

Have you ever heard the expression "tongue in cheek"?



-- Gary F.

Yeah,
It makes an extra bump for my razor to go over! Tried strethching the skin a little tighter. Bump is smaller but still there. Hee Hee

Hey, tongue in cheek is a really nice method of stretching the skin even further. Especially around the lips nose and chin. I don't see what that's got to do with a holy razor though .

Originally Posted by Traveller

Dear STB it is actuall less then 70.00 per Apostle,as the razor was owned by many other famous people through the ages.I will not mention them here for fear of starting a bidding war,but they will be listed in the Sleeze bay listing(but just to raise the tittilation facor a bit I will mention that the razor bears the signature of all the Apostles except Judas Escariot,I cant figure why his name is not included.The history of how I obtained the razor was supposed to be included in the best selling novel "The Da Vinci Code"but Dan Brown and I had a falling out a couple of days before publication and I forced him to remove the account from the book,However I'm sure you will be excited to hear that I am including it in the E bay listing
Best Regards Gary(skeetshooter978)

Yes, I've seen the listing. I realize that the razor was owned and passed down by many, I didn't want to give away all the details. I'll never be able to get it at a good price if you keep blabbing about it all day long!

Has anyone seen the movie "Tongue in Cheek"? Excellent film, interesting plot, very well developed characters. Really, it's one of those movies that makes you think.

Where can I see this razor.

Peter

Not to worry Badger,

I have a reliable source that says they discovered 12 more on a Pakistani mountain top. Uncovered by recent heavy rains. Archeoligist are speculating as to whether the disciples had razor rotaion system also. Scouring the earth for more Disciple razors to prove the theory, if found would be the oldest example of "razor rotation" among the male species.

You will not be able to see the razor until Sunday morning when I list it .I am going to shave with it one more time before listing it ,and at that time I will remove it from my shaving rotation,and replace it with the Fabulous King Tut razor (which I also own,but which is no longer for sale).The only reason that I mentioned that I was going to list the razor was in the hopes an SRP member might buy it,or possibly you guys might like to get together and form a consotium to buy it.I will also take 5.00 off the selling price as a discount for SRP members Best Regards Gary(skeetshooter978)

Also the story about the Paki razors being uncovered in a rainstorm is untrue,it hasnt rained over there in years,you must be thinking of Bangladesh Gary

I will reconfer with my source. However the King Tut will be interesting. Did he have a rotation? Could that be the oldest??????

Here is the text from the King Tut as it was listed on E Bay on 4-01-06 Fortunately it did not sell,and I have since decided to donate it to the Smithstonian for perminant public display

The Fabulous King Tut Razor Minty,and almost shave ready.Has some light discoleration on blade,which will polish out no problem,Has small chip in blade,ok to weld up ,easy repair no problem,still great shaver,very sharp I cut my finger
1) History of the razor:
The King Tut razor was made in the year 2483 BC. The razor was made by aliens who were at the time building the pyramids of Egypt,and took a day off to fabricate the razor and teach mankind how to shave their beards,the razor was then presented to King Tut(who was 18 at the time),he personally used the razor on his beard,and it is rumored that Queen Nefritiri used it to shave her legs and under her arms, upon Tuts death the razor was put in storage for many years,the next recorded owner was Moses who did not use it much.The razor was then lost to history for awhile,but later resurfaced in 326 BC and was owned by Alexander the Great,the razor was then lost to history for awhile,and next resurfaced in the possesion of the Three Wise Men,who used it to tidy up before visiting the Baby Jesus,this amazing razor then dissapears from the historical records for almost 1200 years,and the next historically verifiable owner is King Arthur(1228 AD),After that some of the verifiable owners have been (in chronilogical order) The Venerible Bede,Willie Shakespear,Leonardo Da Vinci,Michaengelo,Nicolas Copernicus,Galaleo Gallili,George Washington,Benjamin Franklin,Abraham Lincoln,Robert E.Lee,Teddy Roosevelt,Franklin Delano Rosevelt,Winston Churchill,John F.Kennedy,and Me(Gary X)
2) How we know who owned the razor and can prove it.
All of the owners of the razor except me(Gary X) put their initials on the razor,and King Tut,and Alexander the Great included the dates, after the razor came into my possesion I hired the most prominent history professor/archeologist/Researcher in the world to check it out,he confirms that these were the actual owners and these are their initials(this history professor wishes to remain anonomous so we will refer to him as "History ProfessorX".
History Professor X also checked every thing out with a very famous Egyptian Archaeologist(who also wishes to remain anonomous),so we will refer to him as Egyptian Professor X. Below I have made a chronoligical list of the initials of the owners with the names beside them.These were all checked out and verified by Egyptian ProfessorX,and History ProfessorX
3)Owners Initials and their names as verified by History ProfessorX,and Egyptian ProfessorX:
1)K.T.2483BC King Tut
2)Moses No explanation needed
3)A.T.G326BC Alexander The Great
4)T.W.M Three Wise Men
5)K.A1228AD King Arthur
6)T.V.B The Venerable Bede
7)Willie William Shakespear
8)Leo Leonardo Da Vinci
9)Mike Michangelo
10)Nicki Nicholas Copernicus
11)G.G Galaleo Galili
12)G.W. George Washinton
13)Bennie Benjamin Franklin
14 Abe Abraham Lincoln
15)R.E.L Robert E. Lee
16)Teddie Theodore Roosevelt
17)F.D.R. Franklin Delano Roosevelt
18)W.C Winston Churchill
19)J.F.K John Fitzgerald Kennedy
4)How I came into Possesion of the Razor
While attending a party at Marlyn Monroes house in July 1962, Robert F Kennedy(who was also attending the party)gave me the razor as a token of his appreciation for my helping him in the persicution of Jimmy Hoffa
(it was a pretty boring party)we all smoked but no one inhaled.Marilyn used to use the razor to shave her legs.I have had the razor since then and sometimes shave with it.
5)How we have established the razors value
While Malcolm Forbes was alive I used to go over to his house on Saturday nights,and we would shave with the Fabulous King Tut Razor,and drink scotch and smoke Cuban Cigars(Malcolm also wanted to remain anonomous)so we will refer to him as Malcolm X. One evening Malcolm X,History Professor X and Egyptian Professor X and myself,Gary X were sitting around smoking cigars and drinking scotch,Malcolm X commented on what a great shaving razor the Fabulous King Tut razor is and how much he would like to own it,so I told him to make an offer.He ofered me 6 of his Fabrege Eggs for the razor(about 18million dollars) so as you can see you are really getting a bargain if you win the auction for the Fabulous King Tut Razor
6)Added Value
If you should win the razor ,for an additional $5000.00 I will personally deliver the razor to you door,spend the night at your house and take you to Dennies for breakfast(I will pay up to 20.00),and autograph any thing you want.
I regret that History Professor X cannot attend as he is serving a short prison term on a trumped up fraud charge.Egyptian Professor X cannot attend as he went over to the Taliban years ago and is now in hiding in Pakistan.Malcolm X and Marilyn cannot attend as they are both dead,But I'll be there(Gary X) and I'm lots of fun
7)Provenance and verification of claims
It has recently come to light that History Professor X's long term crack addiction may have brought some of his conclusions,and findings regarding the Fabulous King Tut razor under suspicion
Egyption Professor X's academic qualifications have also come under scrutiny and are suspect as his mother now claims he never learned to read and write
Also the words Solingen,and made in Germany on the tang of the razor are bringing it's reported alien origin under suspicion,so we can make no claim of authenticity for any of the allegations stated in this documment.It has also been alleged that GaryX may be full of s***
Happy bidding and good luck If you have any questions regarding the Fabulous King Tut razor please send your questions and we will answer right away. Im looking forward to spending the night at your house and breakfast. Best regards ,GaryX