Thread: Haunted Straight Razors?

Originally Posted by thebigspendur

Har-Har-Har

You asked for it but I'll only put part 2 in. If you're interested you can search for the rest.

A.P Wire Service-5/10/10. Steamboat Springs,Arizona. Tribal Police report being called to the hogan of Everet Manyfeathers after frantic calls from his wife. Tribal Police found Manyfeathers deceased. His spouse reported he was using a Nogura Stone to build slurry on his honing stone when an aura appeared out of the stone blinding them all. A second later Manyfeather lay dead with a cup of Japanese Sake at his side and a ribbon with Japanese writing on his forehead. Investigations continue.

Tribal Police were stumped by the strange occurrence and called in BIA authorities who were able to determine there was no Japanese Sake anywhere within a 100 mile radius of the town. It was thought someone went into town to buy it and played a practical joke that turned tragic however after being led to a dead end the FBI was called.

Investigators made many startling discoveries in the course of their investigation. They determined Manyfeathers had registered on several shaving sites on the web using a variety of pseudonyms and was considered an authority on honing straight razors. His spouse Noreen Bagay said he knew the Canyons around town like the back of his hand and collected “very valuable” honing stones from the surrounding area which he sold to members of these online sites for inflated prices fabricating stories about where the stones really came from and what they were. She added one day a strange package showed up on his door just labeled “from a friend” and inside was a honing stone with instructions saying it was a very old magic stone from Japan with great power but he should never use it on any Japanese National Holiday. It had become his favorite stone imparting the keenest edge with little effort. Then one day while consuming an excess of Ripple he forgot the admonition and used the hone on the Birthday of General Hideki Tojo.

Neighbors reported for days before the incident seeing a strange apparition of a man in a tattered uniform of sorts wandering from house to house. Investigators questioned the local shaman Stanley Bigrazor. He said he had a dream two nights before the incident where a man came to him telling him he was stranded between this world and the next and someone had stolen his shaving implements and in order to gain entrance to paradise he had to impress the supreme holy one he had the closest shave in the history of the world. He had already recovered his razor and now wanted his hone stone so he could sharpen it. He still had other things to find and he knew where to go to find them. If he couldn’t pass the holy shave test he would be damned for all eternity to live back in this world as a semi-mortal but with an insatiable hunger to acquire shaving gear for all eternity and haunt an online site called SRP.
Unfortunately the investigating agent failed to disclose the true facts fearing ridicule from his supervisors and fellow agents and a fear of being referred to as Agent Mulder so he wrote his report to indicate Manyfeathers had died of natural causes having sat on a live electrical wire causing the flash. All reference to the Sake and ribbon were left off the report.

Fortunately an investigative reporter from Tuba City working for the Navajo Times continued the Investigation. She found out about the strange death of Homer La Fong and traced the razor back to Tokyo during the Second World War and she traced it to the relatives of Lt. Toshiro Kawasaki .

Apparently according to Kawasaki’s sister her mother sent him off on his last mission with the admonition to find his target and do the most damage and kill those American Devils. Unfortunately though he did hit his mark it was the wrong naval vessel and the bombs he was carrying did not go off because he improperly wired the detonator. Apparently, he had imbibed too much sake before the mission and was intoxicated and a ribbon he was wearing became entangled on the controls causing him to lose focus. Before her mother died her final words were to curse her son’s soul for bringing disgrace to the family which also caused her husband to commit hari-kari by falling on his straight razor. (He died slowly and in agony). (Incidentally, the very same razor involved in these strange incidents).

Tribal religious leaders will hold ceremony to try and assist the young aviator to find peace and exit this world for good however it is imperative to find the remaining shaving implements before the spirit is able to get them. Bigrazor said the young man told him if he was successful all straight razors in the world would vanish (except those made in Pakistan) and because moderators on SRP were so kind to him all members of SRP would ascend to shaving nirvana. Members of all other shaving sites would go to shaving hell where they would be tasked with stropping up their totally dull microchipped and cracked 60 pound wedge (one million strokes as the strop fell apart and they had to reconstitute it) on a tissue paper thin leather strop and shave with the razor as the pins holding it in the scales came totally loose and the only soap available was fire and brimstone brand and their shaving brush fell apart as they picked it up and the only aftershave was sulfuric acid.(now that’s hell eh?) They would have to repeat this process every day for all eternity as their shredded facial skin grew back each day and a shaving expert guy named Joe or something like that stood over them and gave them all manner of advice relating to razors, honing, stropping and wet shave topics in general incessantly.

Investigators are examining this issue between the aviator’s connection to on-line shaving sites and his exit from this dimension. It is suspected some member of this SRP Site is somehow involved and does not realize the peril he is placing himself and fellow members in.

whoa.. anybody can point me to the right direction for the rest?

STRANGE! But TRUE!

And as Paul Harvey used to say, "..and that's the rest of the story!".

Originally Posted by thebigspendur

Har-Har-Har

You asked for it but I'll only put part 2 in. If you're interested you can search for the rest.

A.P Wire Service-5/10/10. Steamboat Springs,Arizona. Tribal Police report being called to the hogan of Everet Manyfeathers after frantic calls from his wife. Tribal Police found Manyfeathers deceased. His spouse reported he was using a Nogura Stone to build slurry on his honing stone when an aura appeared out of the stone blinding them all. A second later Manyfeather lay dead with a cup of Japanese Sake at his side and a ribbon with Japanese writing on his forehead. Investigations continue.

Tribal Police were stumped by the strange occurrence and called in BIA authorities who were able to determine there was no Japanese Sake anywhere within a 100 mile radius of the town. It was thought someone went into town to buy it and played a practical joke that turned tragic however after being led to a dead end the FBI was called.

Investigators made many startling discoveries in the course of their investigation. They determined Manyfeathers had registered on several shaving sites on the web using a variety of pseudonyms and was considered an authority on honing straight razors. His spouse Noreen Bagay said he knew the Canyons around town like the back of his hand and collected “very valuable” honing stones from the surrounding area which he sold to members of these online sites for inflated prices fabricating stories about where the stones really came from and what they were. She added one day a strange package showed up on his door just labeled “from a friend” and inside was a honing stone with instructions saying it was a very old magic stone from Japan with great power but he should never use it on any Japanese National Holiday. It had become his favorite stone imparting the keenest edge with little effort. Then one day while consuming an excess of Ripple he forgot the admonition and used the hone on the Birthday of General Hideki Tojo.

Neighbors reported for days before the incident seeing a strange apparition of a man in a tattered uniform of sorts wandering from house to house. Investigators questioned the local shaman Stanley Bigrazor. He said he had a dream two nights before the incident where a man came to him telling him he was stranded between this world and the next and someone had stolen his shaving implements and in order to gain entrance to paradise he had to impress the supreme holy one he had the closest shave in the history of the world. He had already recovered his razor and now wanted his hone stone so he could sharpen it. He still had other things to find and he knew where to go to find them. If he couldn’t pass the holy shave test he would be damned for all eternity to live back in this world as a semi-mortal but with an insatiable hunger to acquire shaving gear for all eternity and haunt an online site called SRP.
Unfortunately the investigating agent failed to disclose the true facts fearing ridicule from his supervisors and fellow agents and a fear of being referred to as Agent Mulder so he wrote his report to indicate Manyfeathers had died of natural causes having sat on a live electrical wire causing the flash. All reference to the Sake and ribbon were left off the report.

Fortunately an investigative reporter from Tuba City working for the Navajo Times continued the Investigation. She found out about the strange death of Homer La Fong and traced the razor back to Tokyo during the Second World War and she traced it to the relatives of Lt. Toshiro Kawasaki .

Apparently according to Kawasaki’s sister her mother sent him off on his last mission with the admonition to find his target and do the most damage and kill those American Devils. Unfortunately though he did hit his mark it was the wrong naval vessel and the bombs he was carrying did not go off because he improperly wired the detonator. Apparently, he had imbibed too much sake before the mission and was intoxicated and a ribbon he was wearing became entangled on the controls causing him to lose focus. Before her mother died her final words were to curse her son’s soul for bringing disgrace to the family which also caused her husband to commit hari-kari by falling on his straight razor. (He died slowly and in agony). (Incidentally, the very same razor involved in these strange incidents).

Tribal religious leaders will hold ceremony to try and assist the young aviator to find peace and exit this world for good however it is imperative to find the remaining shaving implements before the spirit is able to get them. Bigrazor said the young man told him if he was successful all straight razors in the world would vanish (except those made in Pakistan) and because moderators on SRP were so kind to him all members of SRP would ascend to shaving nirvana. Members of all other shaving sites would go to shaving hell where they would be tasked with stropping up their totally dull microchipped and cracked 60 pound wedge (one million strokes as the strop fell apart and they had to reconstitute it) on a tissue paper thin leather strop and shave with the razor as the pins holding it in the scales came totally loose and the only soap available was fire and brimstone brand and their shaving brush fell apart as they picked it up and the only aftershave was sulfuric acid.(now that’s hell eh?) They would have to repeat this process every day for all eternity as their shredded facial skin grew back each day and a shaving expert guy named Joe or something like that stood over them and gave them all manner of advice relating to razors, honing, stropping and wet shave topics in general incessantly.

Investigators are examining this issue between the aviator’s connection to on-line shaving sites and his exit from this dimension. It is suspected some member of this SRP Site is somehow involved and does not realize the peril he is placing himself and fellow members in.

Great story to read in pieces

This is an old thread and its not Halloween... but that was awesome! I laughed my ass off! Thanks