Please allow me at the outset to say that no offense is implied or intended by this posting. It is offered as humor and a topic hoping to inspire grins, smiles and hopefully a few chuckles.
I offer the following terminology and definitions for use on the SRP forums.

NOTE!!!: If you find anything in here offensive save yourself! Stop reading and go to another posting! Don't finish this posting and post a reply that you are offended. If the Ops are offended they can remove the posting and smack my hand. That being said, ENJOY!!!

ADDICT
An undeniable compulsion or drive to collect. Sometimes only certain items (Razors, Hones, Strops, oils, lotions, creams, soaps, etc.) related to wet shaving, but can evolve to a broad spectrum disorder encompassing all areas of wet shaving. Unlike LABOR below this is common and usually satisfying. In fact most wet shavers are functional addicts!
However if the addiction begins to interfere with normal healthy social relationships (the SRP forums are NOT abnormal) professional counseling is highly recommended.
(reference: RAD, HAD, SAD and DEAD)

BI
A shaver that goes both ways. Enjoys both Straight razor and Safety razor shaving.

BIRTH, giving
A term applied to the process of completing a custom razor or razor restoration. Contrary to the belief of some a safety razor is not a closed straight razor.

CASTRATION
When all of a persons shaving items (or particular favorites) are taken (stolen, lost, etc.), usually by force or coercion.

CELIBACY
Abstinence from wet shaving.

CLIMAX
The culmination of a great shave.

CONCEPTION
Formulating in your mind how you want your custom or restored razor.

CROSS DRESSING
Deriving significant pleasure from the act of changing the scales on the same straight razor repeatedly.

EXHIBITIONIST
One who likes to wet shave in public, or privately in front of others.

FETISH
A fixation with specific areas or items of wet shaving, bordering on compulsion that leaves the person unsatisfied without it.
Common Examples: Certain brands of straight razors or Double Edge blades. Shaving products centering around a similar scent (e.g. Proraso Fetish ~ Having to use every Proraso product manufactured for a satisfactory shave).

FISTING
A form of death grip on your razor making it difficult to shave satisfactorily. Usually caused by fear of dropping it and causing injury to oneself. Usually abates with increased confidence.

FOREPLAY
A leisurely and enjoyable period of preparation for a wet shave. Commonly involves preparing for and organizing shave items, moisturizing, oils, hot towels, lather prep (i.e. Uberlather) prior to the actual act of shaving. Used as a form of delayed gratification to heighten the experience.

GAY
A feeling of euphoria (of course). Alternatively a wet shaver in the uncommon position to share every aspect of wet shaving with their partner.

I.U.D.
Important Uberlather Device.

IMPOTENCE
Inability to sustain or complete and satisfactory wet shave.

K-Y JELLY
See Lubrication.

LABOR
When the process of wet shaving seems burdensome. Commonly leads to dissatisfaction with the set shave process.
Usually caused by psychological or emotional problems. Professional counseling is highly recommended.

LUBRICATION
Usually any of a variety of oils, creams or gels used for the face or razor. Also referring to the quality of ones lather to allow the razor to glide over the face.

MASOCHIST
Someone that experiences intense personal gratification from the burn of an alcohol based aftershave. Most wet shavers are closet masochists. Alternatively someone that enjoys wet shaving with a dull razor (but that's just sick!).

MOLESTATION
Referring to an act of violation enacted on the wet shavers equipment and products without his / her knowledge.

ORPHAN
A razor, without a proper and caring home. Most wet shavers find it virtually impossible to ignore orphans making adoptions quite common. (Note: eBay is a very common agency utilized for these adoptions.)

PORN
Visual stimulation usually involving pictures or video of wet shaving equipment. Commonly viewed over the internet when your spouse / partner is unaware. (Common term, included here for completeness)

PUSHER
A person that offers a fisrt razor (usually free) with the underlying intention of addicting someone to wet shaving. (Lynn was probably the first!)

STRAIGHT
A person with a straight razor preference. (Note: one of the few areas in society affording someone the opportunity to be both gay and straight at the same time)

TRADING PARTNERS
When wet shavers trade razors for the sake of trying another shavers personal experience.

VIRGIN
Someone that has never experienced wet shaving.

VOYEUR
When someone derives pleasure from watching a wet shave but not participating. Considered deviant in common wet shaving society.