Thread: how to tell if your a straight razor guy or a safty razor guy (funny)

If the clock on your VCR has been blinking at you since 1978 - You might be a straight razor guy.If you get every minute of extra sleep you can, then jump up and rush through dressing for work - You might be a safety razor guy.If you like the idea that others think you are "just a bit different" - You might be a straight razor guy.If the thought of shaving your head (or whole body) has EVER entered your mind - You might be a safety razor guy. If you would truly rather eat at home than in a restaurant - You might be a straight razor guy.If your idea of a good time requires more than 2 people - You might be a safety razor guy.If you don't even hesitate when asked "Paper or Plastic?" - you might be a straight razor guy.If you can't pass by a mirror without looking into it - You might be a safety razor guy.If when you buy clothes they fit, are comfortable, and will still be in your wardrobe a year or two from now - You might be a straight razor guy.If You believe Henry Ford, Alexander Graham Bell, King Gillette, Bill Gates and Ron Popeil are American Heros - You are a "Quattro" safety razor guy!If you've taken the "Pepsi Challenge" and failed - You might be a straight razor guy.If you can name the top 5 bands on this week's pop music chart - You might be a safety razor guy.If you can name all 9 planets - You might be a straight razor guy; If you want to live on one of them - You might be a safety razor guy.If you've ever had a newspaper route, mowed lawns, or sold "Kool-Aid" - You might be a straight razor guy.If you can do the "New Math" - You might be a safety razor guy.If your idea of a Recreational Vehicle is an "Airstream Land Yacht" - you might be a straight razor guy.If you think of the "Fab Five" as the Last Word in style and taste - You might be a "Venus" safety razor guy.If given the choice you opt for a steak & baked potato over sushi or tofu - You might be a straight razor guy.If the last letter in the brand name of the car you drive is a vowel - You might be a safety razor guy.If you would rather grind and brew your own favorite coffee blend than pay Starbucks $4.00/cup to do it for you - You might be a straight razor guy.If your social life is suffering because you can't pull yourself away from the new Reality TV Shows - You might be a safety razor guy.If you prefer your music to come from a vinyl LP on a precision turntable rather than a CD on a boom box - You might be a straight razor guy.If your idea of multi-tasking is shaving in the shower - I certainly hope you're a safety razor guy.If you think "Snoop Dog" is a breed of bloodhound - You might be a straight razor guy.If your favorite cup of coffee has a name that includes: Latte', Grande', or anything ending in "ino" you might be a safety razor guy.If you knew that The Lone Ranger's mask was made from the fabric of the vest worn by his brother, a U.S. Ranger who was murdered by "the bad guys" - You might be a straight razor guy.If you've ever stood in line for days (or even hours) at Best Buy or Circuit City waiting for the release of "the new ____ video game system" - You might be a safety razor guy.If you've ever thrown your cell phone into a river, over a cliff or down a well - You might be a straight razor guy.If the newest car you own is over forty years old and it still looks and runs like it did the first day it rolled off the assembly line, you might be a straight razor guy.

If your motorcycle whines like a snowblower on speed, you might be a safety razor guy.

If you think flip-flops are a crucial part of your wardrobe and wouldn't hesitate to wear them in front of the President of the US, you might be a safety razor guy.

If you spot a classic car in less than one second while driving down the interstate at 70 mph, the car is two miles away in an overgrown field, and you can not only name it regardless of make and model, you can tell your passenger everything about it in great detail, and yet you totally missed the barely-legal blonde in a bikini standing not but 5 feet off the road, you might be a straight razor guy.

If your entire DVD collection is made up of 30's and 40's classics, John Wayne flicks, and W.W.II war movies, you might be a straight razor guy.

If you tie you own bowties and make your own lather, you're a straight razor guy

If you wear button suspenders with your blue jeans, you might be a straight razor guy

If you use moustache wax, you are a straight razor guy.

If you MAKE your own moustache wax, you're neither and probably prefer to shave with the flint arrowhead you just made!

If you still open the door for a lady you're probably a straight razor guy.

If you believe that the man always pays for the dinner or movie, you're probably a straight razor guy.

If you address an officer of the law as "sir" you're probably a straight razor guy.

If you address everyone as "Sir" or "Ma'am," regardless of their age, or station, you're a straight razor guy.
If grammar and punctuation mean nothing to you, you might be a safety razor guy.

If you feel you were born 250 years too late - you might be a Straight Razor guy.

If you've ever heard of Brylcreem, you might be a straight razor guy.
If you recognize the slogan, "A little Dab'll Do Ya!" you might be a straight razor guy.

If you think the gas cap should be hidden by the rear license plate you might be a straight razor guy.

If you have a Sunday hat and a work hat and neither one advertises anything, you might be a straight razor guy.

If you think ButchWax is something women of the opposite sex use, you're probably a Gillette disposable guy.

If you wear socks with Birkenstock sandals and Bermuda shorts, you probably sport a full beard and may be a no-razor guy!
If you don't know how to change your own tire you probably wax!

If you understand digital photography, own one or more digital cameras but still prefer to shoot an old professional film camera - You might be a straight razor guy.





If you use your cell phone to text, but correctly spell the words and use punctuation - You might be a straight razor guy.

If you think shaving soap comes in a can, you're probably a safety razor guy.

If you *know* shaving soap comes in a cake, you're a straight razor guy.

If you know how many Burma-Shave signs make a jingle, you're most likely a straight razor guy.

If you know more than three Burma-Shave jingles, you're *definitely* a straight razor guy!
If you took your time to read this list, you might be a straight razor guy.

Originally Posted by Deerhunter1995

If you took your time to read this list, you might be a straight razor guy.

Augh, I've been living a lie!