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Thread: Wonderful Discovery and Opportunity

  1. #1
    The Hurdy Gurdy Man thebigspendur's Avatar
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    Default Wonderful Discovery and Opportunity

    I know we have seen many posts about searches for new honing materials and the efforts members have gone to trying to attain the ultimate hone. Some just get crazy. Why I heard on some other forum some crazy guy bought a piece of the Titanic and was using that as a hone. Some other poor guy went prospecting in Nigeria and was kidnapped by those terrorists and is now making hones for them.

    Just a few weeks ago I was making some homemade ice cream and a bunch of ice fell on the floor and my Husky grabbed a bunch and enjoyed chewing them up. A bit later I noticed her canines seemed to be sharper than they were before. So I got to wondering and made a nice ice hone and experimented with a few razors. The result wasn't so great. So, I contacted a professor friend over at the University and we sat down and figured with the right mix of added minerals this could really be improved. The only down side was the razor might stick to the ice so we had to add some more chemicals to make the ice extra slippery.

    So, after much trial and error we developed the right mix and I'm not exaggerating but the razors I tried it on were so sharp it put my Escher and my Gokumyo to shame. We quickly got a patent for this invention.

    Afterall you know how many razors are ice hardened and heck even beer is ice brewed so this should be a no brainer. I mean, doesn't it make perfect sense?

    So you have to act fast because some nosy moderator is going to remove this post. I'm calling this the ice house hone and you can get it for a very reasonable sum. We ship it and you use it. Now I know some smart guy is saying he's pulling my leg cause this thing is gonna melt and all I'm going to get is a bag of water. Yes, of course and that's the beauty. It's shipped in a reusable container and you refreeze it every time you need it. For your purchase price you get the hone material and a high grade plastic form to mold the hone and it can be altered to get a variety of shapes (isn't that swell) and you also get a miniature Zamboni to ensure the hone has the perfect geometry each and every time. The only slight wrinkle we're having right now is getting the cucaracha trained to drive the Zamboni.

    Once you get this kit you will never need to send a razor out for honing. It's so easy a blind one armed one legged straight shaver could get expert results every time Yea Lynn and Glen will be selling apples on the street corner.

    Now I bet some smart guy is saying heck I can freeze some water and some salt and use my kids popsicle maker to get the same thing. Well just try it and when your edge sticks to the ice and is torn off you'll be sorry.

    So I tell you what, in fact I'm not going to sell it cause that's against the rules what I'm going to do is sell shares in the company so you all become owners and investors. You better hurry before it goes on the stock market and some rich guy buys the company for billions. Why all the mods have already invested their life savings in this enterprise.(all except Gugi, he asks too many questions)

    Ready to go? No need to send money now. My friend Mr. L will be handling everything. Just send a note saying you're in and addressed to Ice House Hones P.O Box 666 Hicksville, N.M 87666.

    Mr L will send you a contract and you just put a drop of your blood on it to seal the deal. The money part comes later. I can guarantee you all a lot of very hot cash.

    Happy Honing
    No matter how many men you kill you can't kill your successor-Emperor Nero

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to thebigspendur For This Useful Post:

    Iceni (07-01-2014), Mvcrash (07-02-2014)

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    Senior Member blabbermouth Chevhead's Avatar
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    This will be like getting in on the ground floor of Facebook!
    Substance likes this.

    Ed

  4. #3
    Sharp as a spoon. ReardenSteel's Avatar
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    And I thought I had too much time on my hands.
    Why doesn't the taco truck drive around the neighborhood selling tacos & margaritas???

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    Senior Member guitstik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chevhead View Post
    This will be like getting in on the ground floor of Facebook!
    More like the Trade Center on 911. I know, poor taste.

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    Moderator Razorfeld's Avatar
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    I wonder if Mr. L knows a couple of my relatives? There's Ponzinita, Conrad, Shillbert and his twin Scambert, all 666 times removed cousins. Thankfully I haven't heard from them in ages.
    "The sharpening stones from time to time provide officers with gasoline."

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    Senior Member guitstik's Avatar
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    How'd this get made a sticky so fast? Either there is an awful lot of payola going around or the mod got his tongue stuck to the hone. Or else blackmail.
    Chevhead likes this.

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    Senior Member DennisBarberShop's Avatar
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    Doctor needs to lower your aderol dosage...lol
    Chevhead likes this.

  9. #8
    It's bloodletting with style! - Jim KindestCutOfAll's Avatar
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    If you can add serial numbers, I'll buy numbers 00001 through 00100!

    Imagine owning one of the first ones. I could sell a couple every few months on ebay and make a killing!

    This would be an investment for my retirement of course.
    Chevhead and Substance like this.

  10. #9
    Senior Member guitstik's Avatar
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    That is nothing. I am currently working a process for an "Air Hone", but for now I can only get to work in the fog.

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    I would of course like to invest in this promising enterprise and I think I would like to start a subsidiary selling exactly the right type of water with the perfect mineral content since using regular tap water will in all probability result in a harsh edge.

    For the most consistant result we will of course sell nice ultrasonic degassing equipement to get out those pesky air bubles.

    and then of course we'll need testing kits for people buying cheap knokoff version through ebay from people who used their plastic bag of melded hone, added water and try to resell it as 2 or even 4 hones. This will undoubtedly lead to a subculture of people making claims about homeopathic hones working just as well or even better, the internet discussion will be horible and drive the community apart.

    in 10 years we will see studies comning along telling of old eskimo tribes who used the famous ice hones even back in prehistoric times and export missions in mideavel times when they tried to push coticule out of the market, this of cource failed because the eskimos didn't realise the rest of the world hadn't invented the refridgerator yet

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