Guci, don't feel too bad about this and don't beat yourself up. It's obvious that you are eager to learn, but you need a mentor to guide you. They can prevent you from hours of frustration, and more importantly, wasting money on razors. I have some skills in metal working, but before I attempted to hone a razor, I'd watched MANY hours of videos, and read all I could here on SRP. I'd already learned to straight shave too. Honing should be the final skill you learn with the straight razor.