Thread: For Sale: Grandpa's Prosthetic Leg

"My good man, you're not really selling that prosthetic leg, are you?"

"Yup."

"You mean someone will actually buy that thing?"

"People buy anything."

"And obviously sell anything."

"Flea market — buy it or sell it and it don't make no difference what."

"I can see that. Where did you get it?"

"Was grandpa's."

"You're selling your grandfather's prosthetic leg?"

"Sure, he ain't needin' it where he is?"

"Where might that be?"

"Up there or down there."

"Yes, I see your point."

"What're you looking for?"

"Straight razors."

"You mean them knife razors?"

"That's one way of putting it."

"What do you do with them?"

"Shave with them."

"Man, you're crazy shaving with them scary things."

"Only poor people are crazy. The artist and the rich are eccentric."

"Ain't got any of them — knife razors. Got a violin."

"Yes, I see. What is that, a Guarneri del Gesu?

"A what?"

"Oh, that was some Italian character who made violins in the mid-seventeen hundreds."

"Sure, it's a Guar . . . whatever."

"Or maybe it's a Guadagnini . . . or, let me see, could be Matteo Goffriller. Maybe a long lost Stradivari."

"Yeah, all them."

"But the strings are missing."

"Well, what the hell, what you need them for?"

"You have a point there."

"Take fifty bucks for it."

"For that long lost Stradivari without strings?"

"Sure, it's a bargain."

"You have a fantastic offer there, my good man, but unfortunately I play the guitar. Well, I've been trying to play the blasted thing for who knows how long — and still can't play."

"Wanna trade since you can't play it worth a hoot?"

"But my guitar has strings."

"So take 'em off. What's the difference?"

"Yes, that's what I keep telling myself."

You just have to love Obie's posts. Always well written and interesting.

That was a real conversation wasnt it.

Originally Posted by TrilliumLT

That was a real conversation wasnt it.

Hello, TrilliumLT: Yes, it was, during one of the many flea marts I wondered through this spring and summer. When I saw the leg in this man's clutter of stuff for sale, I could not resist striking up a conversation. Being a writer and having been a broadcaster, I seem to have refined the various tricks to get a good conversation going. I also have a good ear for dialogue. That's why I remember good portions of such conversations. Indeed, people are fascinating. By the way, I saw the same guy at another flee mart, but he no longer had the leg. I wonder if anyone actually bought it. Stay well.

Obie,

I know when I read one of your threads I will always come away with a point to ponder or a light hearted laugh. Thank-you.

Obie, your conversation with the vendor reminded me of dialogue by James M. Cain (Mildred Peirce, The Postman Always Rings Twice) Also the scene in the new version of True Grit where the mountain man/dentist says he took the teeth of the hanged man but will entertain offers on the body.

That's right - "Obie's conversations", you guys come this close from reading this one on the SRP front page...

Hello, Jimmy. Ah, yes, James M. Cain. He was a fine writer. I've seen both Mildred Pierce and Postman. Fabulous movies. Another one known for his sparkling dialogue was Dashiell Hammett, of the Maltese Falcon fame. I have not seen the new version of True Grit, but the story about the teeth is a gem.

I'm reminds me of a little story about the Polish pianist, composer, and statesman Ignacy Paderewski. I put it in my book "Obie's Opus." In 1896, The Item, a New Orleans newspaper, had no available music critic to cover Paderewski's concert, so the boxing editor was sent instead. In his review of Paderewski he wrote: "In my opinion, he is the best two-handed piano fighter that ever wore hair. If I were a piano, I wouldn't travel as Paderewski's sparring partner for two-thirds of the gross receipts."

Obie,
A very amusing post. it reminded me of a recent visit to an, or I should say The (it's the only one), antique store in Doha. I asked if they had any Razors, to my suprise, the gentleman "minding" the store directed me to a box of assorted Razors. There were 5 straights in the box, to say they were rough would be an understatement. One of them was just about salvageble it was a very average plastic (broken) scaled unbranded Solingen.

It was priced at the equivalent of around 97 USD. I explained that I would like to buy it at a more reasonable price. he said he couldn't move on the price. I further explained that a new razor could be purchased at that price.

He pointed out that his Razors although completely useless were being sold as "Ornaments" and were therefore more expensive than something that could be used. At this point I realised that further dialogue was futile.

Originally Posted by easyace

Obie,
He pointed out that his Razors although completely useless were being sold as "Ornaments" and were therefore more expensive than something that could be used.

Hello, easyace: What a great line that is, and with so much truth in it. Thanks for sharing the story. Thanks also for the kind words.