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You know, I've been thinking (uh oh...). And it occurs to me that some of the manliest men in history actually *didn't* shave:

Chuck Norris;
Grizzly Adams;
Vikings;
That guy in "The Joy of...

Whenever I wanted a shave in the past I'd track down a nest of Ninjas and tease them mercilessly until they got angry. Then, I'd use my super-fine reflexes and highly developed fast-twitch muscles in...