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"Keep your words soft and sweet just in case you have to eat them"
-- unknown

I must be in the recovery room then.

Great to see you back! Keep up the recovery...we want you around a long time!

Phrank, I saw that quote another place earlier today. Quite the coincidence.

When asked if he played any rough clubs on his way up Rodney Dangerfield replied; "yeah, one club I played was was pretty rough - the hat check girls name was Dominic"

Sign in local pub: All of our customers please us. Some by entering, some by leaving.

One more wrinkle in my forehead and I'll be able to screw my hat on.

My proctologist just called. He found my head.
.................
nipper

Sign over blow drier in men's room at the college I attended - For a lecture from the Dean, push button. Repeat as necessary for more hot air.
........ Nipper

First name only, no surnames.

If a hammer is the only tool you have all your problems start to look like nails.
...........
Nipper

I don't know the speed of dark but i did know a guy who was so fast that after he turned out the light he would be in bed and asleep before the room got dark.

I woke up grumpy one morning but she went right back to sleep.