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    I have to shave every day. If I miss a day, then...

    I have to shave every day. If I miss a day, then women all over the world get really upset about it. My wife doesn't seem to care one way or the other though.
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    This might be a bit off-topic, but I used to hit...

    This might be a bit off-topic, but I used to hit myself on the head with a hammer because it felt so good when I stopped.
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