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"HEY! I'm a strop, an' I'm gettin' pretty sick'n'tired of those dadblasted razors hoggin' all the glory! Those guys are real wimps, if'n you ask me. It's 'Oooh, my edge's out of alignment' or 'My...

Well, you gotta stroke those strops to get anything out of them. It's all a handjob with those guys!
As far as the brushes go, well, badgers aren't exactly the friendliest creatures out there, boars...

I love this! Proof positive that anthropomorphism is alive and well here at SRP!
Seriously, you presented a very viable argument here, Toymkr: specifically, that a good shave is indeed a team...