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"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

-- Steven Wright

I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.
-----Franklin D. Roosevelt

"I found out that it's not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don't care and the
other twenty percent are glad I'm having them."

----former LA Dodgers...

Been reading a series of books on WWII...

This is from Winston Churchill, ""An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last."

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
--Mark Twain

"Ah yes, divorce… from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." -- Robin Williams

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria -- Ben Franklin

Amen, brother!

Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement. In the end you just ignore everything and click, "I agree".

Not exactly a quip, but made me laugh here in North Carolina!

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Didn't mean for it to be a serious post. As we all know (in the US), we have the best system, despite its flaws. I hope it survives the next President.

found this in another forum:

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I think it's appropriate for SRP:

219632

"She was so ugly, she had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get dogs to follow her home" -- author deceased.

provided by my daughter (granddaughter pictured)

217656

Not a quip, but...

216323

When you are dead you don’t know you are dead. It is only difficult for the others.
It is the same when you are stupid.

Can be applied to forums, occasionally: “Don't try to win over the haters; you're not the jackass whisperer.” ― Scott Stratten

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
Mark Twain

Oh I love that one, outback!

208535

I was waiting to be kicked below the belt...my story, and I'm sticking to it!

Sometimes the first step towards forgiveness is realizing that the other person was born an idiot.

Ah...the good old days.

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My favorite comedian quote: Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.

Ron White

Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered....

"Who ties your shoes for you?" :thinking: