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"What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? Why, they pass through each other, of course! Any English major could figure that out!"

--Aperture Science

But! That's not haiku!
Prepare for much big nerd rage!
Where is my guppy?

Has anyone noticed that in most haiku the last line never seems to actually match up thematically with the rest of the poem?


The juice of cocoa;
Most heavenly ambrosia!
Weird naked...

If I had a nickel for every time someone cut me off on the freeway, I'd say **** you, keep your nickels, I want to kill those ********!!!!!

This statement is false.

I got divorced because my marriage was about as fun as being a computer salesman in an Amish village.

I'm glad I left the Pennsylvania Dutch community with its backwards ways, but sometimes Amish...

A cow mixed with a multi-colored puzzle box: a rubix cube steak

My sense of humor has failed me for the last time. That's it. I quip.

A priest, a rabbi and a beekeeper walked into a bar, and nobody laughed.

I took a train once; they made me put it back!

You, sir, have just validated fanfics that shouldn't never have been validated!

:nono:

After I finish eating my vegetables, what do I do with their wheel chairs?