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You're not an armpit man then? If we can't have a laugh about this subject then there's something wrong with the system. Pineapples are a step too far, but a well sharpened banana should be an...

My usual go-to is whatever straight tickles my fancy after a fifth of gin and enough time left alone to contemplate the state of my pubes. I usually wake up bald as a badger's a!@e all over and sore...